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NBA Owners' net worth (Dan Gilbert's net worth rose from $7.5 billion to $45.3 billion this year)

...After his company went public. I had to include that in the title. Maybe now he won't be such a cheap bastard with his GMs. I had no idea Gilbert was now the second richest owner in the league.
Which made me wonder what other owners are worth (the title of this post was almost "why is Tilman Fertitta such a cheap bastard while Joe Lacob spends money like he thinks the shit's gonna rot?").
Which brings us to this handy Forbes list from March:
1. Steve Ballmer (Los Angeles Clippers): $51.4 billion
Ballmer scored a huge win this week for his dream of building a new arena. He bought the Forum for $400 million from the Madison Square Garden Company, which tried to block a new Clippers arena near the Forum in Inglewood, California.
2. Philip Anschutz (Los Angeles Lakers): $11.2 billion
Anschutz owns one-third of the Lakers, plus the arena in which they play, the Staples Center, in addition to the NHL’s Kings. \For those wondering, it's hard to find a reliable source on Jeanie's net worth but according to unreliable sources it's in the ballpark of $500 million*
3. Stanley Kroenke (Denver Nuggets): $10 billion
The real estate and sports mogul owns teams in the NBA, the NHL, the NFL, MLS and the Premier League.
4. Joseph Tsai (Brooklyn Nets): $9.9 billion
The cofounder of Alibaba Group completed his purchase of the Nets last year for $2.3 billion and bought the Barclays Center for an additional $1 billion.
5. Robert Pera (Memphis Grizzlies): $7.1 billion
Pera owns nearly three-quarters of wireless equipment maker Ubiquiti Networks. He was the lead investor in the Grizzlies purchase in 2012.
6. Daniel Gilbert (Cleveland Cavaliers): $6.2 billion
Gilbert made his first fortune from Quicken Loans, the largest online mortgage lender, which he cofounded in 1985 at 22 years old.*List is from March, before the IPO
7. Tom Gores (Detroit Pistons): $5.7 billion
Gores and his brother Alec are both private equity billionaires. The Pistons opened a new $90 million headquarters and training facility in September.
8. Micky Arison (Miami Heat): $5.3 billion
Arison’s net worth plummeted 33% over the past six weeks with the collapse in the stock price of Carnival Corp. The world’s largest cruise ship operator was founded by Arison’s father in 1972.
9. Tilman Fertitta (Houston Rockets): $4.4 billion
Fertitta furloughed roughly 40,000 employees at his casino and restaurant empire to curb the economic impact caused by coronavirus-induced shutdowns. His fortune is derived from his ownership of the Golden Nugget Casinos and Landry’s, a Texas-based restaurant and entertainment company.
10. Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks): $4.3 billion
Cuban was one of the first sports team owners to commit to paying hourly arena workers for games missed during the coronavirus crisis. He’s invested more than $20 million as a “shark” on ABC’s popular Shark Tank show.
11. Joshua Harris (Philadelphia 76ers): $3.7 billion
Harris cofounded private equity powerhouse Apollo Global Management in 1990 with fellow billionaires Leon Black and Marc Rowan. He remains a managing director there.
12. Gayle Benson (New Orleans Pelicans): $3.2 billion
Benson inherited the Pelicans and the NFL’s Saints when her husband, Tom, died in 2018.
13. Glen Taylor (Minnesota Timberwolves): $2.8 billion
His printing firm, Taylor Corp., generates more than $2 billion in revenue annually. Taylor also owns stakes in Minnesota’s MLS and WNBA teams.
14. Herb Simon (Indiana Pacers): $2.6 billion
The real estate mogul bought the Pacers with his since-deceased brother, Melvin, in 1983, for $10.5 million. Simon Property Group is one of the world’s largest real estate investment trusts, with 206 properties in the U.S.
15. Antony Ressler (Atlanta Hawks): $2.4 billion
Ressler cofounded private equity firm Ares Management in 1997. He owns a small piece of the Milwaukee Brewers, in addition to his controlling stake in the Hawks.
16. Michael Jordan (Charlotte Hornets): $2.1 billion
The NBA’s GOAT sold a minority stake in the Hornets in September in a deal that valued the team at $1.5 billion. Nike pays Jordan more than $100 million annuallybased on growing sales for the company’s Jordan Brand.
17. Marc Lasry (Milwaukee Bucks): $1.8 billion
Lasry, a hedge fund titan, joined Wes Edens to buy the Bucks in 2014 for $550 million. He was born in Morocco and moved to the U.S. at age 7 with his family.
18. Gail Miller (Utah Jazz): $1.7 billion
Miller transferred ownership of the Jazz in 2017 to a family legacy trust to deter her heirs from selling or moving the team. Gail and her since-deceased husband, Larry, bought the team for $22 million in 1986.
19. Jerry Reinsdorf (Chicago Bulls): $1.5 billion
Reinsdorf led a group of investors who bought a controlling stake in the Bulls for $9.2 million in 1985. Good timing. It was one year after the team drafted Michael Jordan, who led the Bulls to six NBA titles. The team is now worth $3.2 billion.
20. Theodore Leonsis (Washington Wizards): $1.4 billion
Leonsis initially built his fortune as a senior executive at AOL, before investing in sports teams like the Wizards and the NHL’s Capitals.
*Not included on the list but googled for your edification:
DeVos Family (Magic): $5.4 billion
James Dolan (Knicks): $2 billion
Joe Lacob (Warriors): $1.2 billion
Vivek Randive (Kings): $700 million
Robert Sarver (Suns): $400 million
Jody Allen (Trail Blazers): The sister of Microsoft cofounder, Paul G. Allen, took control of the team after his death. At the time her brother was worth $20 billion though he intended to give most of his fortune away...
Boston Basketball Partners LLC (Celtics): An American local private investment group formed to purchase the Boston Celtics
Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment (Raptors): The Raptors are a subsidiary of MLSE
The Professional Basketball Club, LLC (Thunder): A group of OKC businessmen "who represent a wide variety of local and national business interests" owns the Thunder
Spurs Sports & Entertainment LLC (Spurs): An American sports & entertainment organization, based in San Antonio, Texas owns the San Antonio Spurs
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Houston Rockets off-season GM write-up

GODDAMIT. BEEN SITTING ON THIS FOR A MONTH, AND NOW IT'S ALL BEEN BLOWN TO SHIT.

Maybe it stays the same since Morey was likely 'inspired' to step down so that Tilman could get the China money back and will continue assisting the new regime from the shadows, but as I have no clue at all what the future is going to bring and don't want to re-write this piece for the planned 'GM write-up' series that was supposed to be starting after the Finals, I'm just gonna drop it here and let anyone else who wants to take over do it.
FUCK TILMAN FERTITTA.
I'm out.

State of the team

After a disappointing bubble performance that did not end in a Championship, many people are questioning if the Rockets window has officially closed. In all likelihood, it has; but it is not yet locked, so with the right moves it can be opened enough to squeeze out another deep run or two that can finally break through if the team finds a brick of luck for once.
What those right moves are and how to accomplish them are the challenge posed to Daryl Morey and his crew. There are a number of constraints that will make this difficult, including a lack of draft assets and moveable contracts that are not integral to the team's success, but the most challenging proposition will again be owner Tilman Fertitta's finances.
While some critics may believe that the Rockets small ball experiment was a failure, management will likely point to the fact that 'defense' was not nearly as much of a problem in the playoffs as 'offense' and that Russell Westbrook's obvious impairment from a quad injury was the primary factor in underachieving desired expectations. The general belief in the front office is that the formula is not broken so much as unlucky. Another couple of chances will hopefully bring the health necessary for a breakthrough.
Daryl Morey's top-stated priority entering the off-season was re-signing coach Mike D'Antoni. Well, D'Antoni ended any talk of that by opting to take his services elsewhere before the team plane had even departed Orlando. This leaves the team in search of a new head coach before any other moves can really be considered, since whoever gets the position will likely hope to have a bit of say in any of the roster decisions that need to be made.
The team is casting a wide net in their search having interviewed candidates like frontrunners Tyronn Lue and Jeff Van Gundy, as well as Kenny Atkinson, Wes Unseld Jr., and Stephen Silas. The new coach will need to garner the instant respect of a veteran-laden team (possibly possessing enough cachet to actually inspire a different style of play?), and may need to fulfill Fertitta's desire to make headlines, favoring a big-name hire. It must be included that there is even a slim chance that D'Antoni returns to the role now that Doc Rivers has swooped his pre-supposed landing spot in Philly, but I expect the final candidates may come from the following list of assistant coaches and thus (completely coincidentally) cheaper names in case a need arises to go in another direction:
Sam Cassell - The former Rockets legend is currently serving as an assistant coach for Doc Rivers. Frequently cited as one of the top assistants ready to take the next step. As a former All-Star point guard, he may be able to command the respect of Westbrook and Harden enough to offset his lack of head coaching experience. His big balls could "Make Houston Clutch Again".
John Lucas - The Rockets Assistant Coach is very familiar with the system and the current players. He provides continuity and a cheap, short-term contract that would allow for an easy 'out' if things do not work in the next year or two (which is the optimistic extent of the title hopes for this current iteration of the Rockets)
Chris Finch - An ex-RGV Vipers Head Coach now working as an assistant in New Orleans. He is a savant on offense, on very good terms with Morey and his philosophy, and due for his 'chance' in the bigs. Given the success of Nick Nurse, another coach who won a G-League Championship for the RGV Vipers, I feel as if Chris Finch should end up getting the call (although he appears to have dropped off the radar).
The new head coach will have a challenging job of needing to instantly compete with a roster of vets who are notorious for not being as flexible in their approach to the game as might be desired. This team is not only 'set' in its ways mentally to the point where an attempt to change the team philosophy could easily backfire and result in another lost season, it is also relatively 'set' in its ability to make personnel changes. So expect the new coach to provide more of an 'extension' of the current Moreyball philosophy than a completely different style.

2021 Houston Rockets Roster and Salary

PLAYER NAME SALARY CAP HIT DETAILS (contract values rise)
Russell Westbrook 41,358,814 2 more yrs + player option
James Harden 41,254,920 2 more years + player option
Eric Gordon 16,869,276 4 more years
Robert Covington 12,138,345 2 more years
PJ Tucker 7,969,537 expiring
Danuel House 3,717,000 2 more years
Ben McLemore 2,283,034 expiring
Chris Clemons 1,517,981 2 more years of team options
David Nwaba 1,862,250 team option
TOTAL 128,971,157
Things look relatively straight-forward for the Rockets. All of their main rotation guys are already signed and set to return with the exception of Jeff Green and Austin Rivers. The Rockets are prime candidates to start the season off by basically "running it back".
Considering Green has enjoyed great success in Houston's system and seems to have established good chemistry within his role in the system, he will absolutely be considered an important piece to re-sign. He has played on minimum-level contracts for the past few years, so unless another contender surprisingly decides to use part of their MLE on him, he should be able to return on a 1+1 veteran minimum contract.
Austin Rivers has a player option for $2,369,663. It is considered highly unlikely that he will opt-in to this (although he will be welcomed back with open arms if he does). If he leaves, the team will likely look to find a replacement ball-handleperimeter defender.
The hopeful addition of Jeff Green to the list of signed players takes the team to a total of 10 contracts, meaning Morey will look to add 5 more players into the fold.
Positional needs:
The Rockets took one big step closer to the idea of 'position-less' basketball by banishing their traditional centers last season. The big question is, will they continue this philosophy into 2021?
The answer to this may partially depend upon who the next coach is. As previously stated, the advanced age of this particular roster resulting in an extremely small window for success, combined with the players' familiarity with the current roles and system and the reduced off-season leads me to believe that the small ball experiment will continue into the 2021 season. Not only was it proven effective offensively at unlocking the best version of Russell Westbrook since his 2017 MVP campaign, the hybrid switching system the team utilized in the first half of the season to account for Clint Capela's reduced ability to guard perimeter players was not as successful as the switch-everything system the team implemented in the playoffs; so unless the team can get a larger center who can effectively switch 1-5, it is unlikely that 'Center' is going to be seen as a top priority.
Look for the team to try to focus their search on finding long, stretchy, big forwards, as they did with the late-season signings of Jeff Green, DeMarre Carroll, and David Nwaba. They will also try to fill the position of 'tertiary ball handler' should Rivers choose to go elsewhere.
Although Austin may sign another 1+1 minimum deal with the team, it is more likely that he will look for a bigger role (and payday) on another team. There is a small chance he could be used in a sign and trade (Houston has his Early Bird Rights allowing him to sign a contract up to around $8M), so he may serve as salary filler in building a larger sign & trade, but note that such a move will surely push Houston well into the luxury tax, bringing us to...
Luxury Tax Issues:
The expected threshold will probably fall around $132-133M. Houston is brushing up against that with only 9 players under contract currently.
Bear in mind that ownership has suffered catastrophic economic distress this year due to Fertitta's business interests in casinos and restaurants (not to mention that he was never interested in paying tax even in better times with a stronger team). Unlike this season, next year should see a large cash pay-out to non-tax teams as many contenders who were below the tax last year due to their participation in Free Agency will be utilizing exceptions that push them into the luxury tax (Golden State in particular has been making overtures at filling its TPE, which would result in one of the largest tax bills on record). Despite his questionable claims that he is financially solvent and ready to pay tax to field a contender, Tilman Fertitta will be happy to be an owner that avoids paying tax again and instead receives a check from the league. Daryl Morey will have his work cut out for him to achieve that, but after accomplishing it in 2019 and 2020 with masterful tax-reducing moves at the trade deadline, there is little doubt he can (and likely will) do it again in 2021. 2 years ago, he reduced Ryan Anderson's $20M contract through a series of moves to Iman Shumpert's $12M and last year he reduced Capela's $17M hit to Covington's $11M bill. Eric Gordon's $17M is the obvious candidate for reduction this year, and there are a variety of ways in which it could be done.

Potential roster moves

Draft
Per usual, Houston does not have any draft picks. They do have almost $5M in cash remaining with which they could purchase a draft pick (potentially even 2 late ones); but most likely Morey will work the pool of undrafted talent to try to find a couple new 2-way contract candidates.
Free Agency:
There are unlikely to be any major moves in the off-season aside from signing 6 players to veteran minimum contracts. Jeff Green and Gerald Green are likely signings. Michael Frazier may have earned a promotion to the main squad, but will more likely continue to stay in the G-League on a 2-way contract. Tyson Chandler and Austin Rivers are candidates who are less likely to be re-signed, but may end up filling the same roles they did this year. Otherwise, expect Morey to take fliers on guys who have high upside in the system that are cut by other teams or don't get the larger contracts they are hoping to find and willing to take short term deals in Houston in an effort to rebuild their value.
Although technically below the tax, using the Full MLE would hard-cap the Rockets at a level providing almost no flexibility for in-season maneuvers, something Morey despises, so the taxpayer mini-MLE is the only practical option available this off-season. However, if avoiding the luxury tax is a priority (Narrator: "It is."), then using the MLE at all is not going to be feasible. Houston has avoided using the MLE for the past 2 seasons (with the exception of utilizing small portions of it to lock up undrafted players on cheap 3-year deals), and is likely to follow in that path this year.
Morey traditionally does his best work at the trade deadline, and will likely look to that time frame again in the 2021 season.
There is one (unlikely) way that the Rockets could utilize their full MLE - by sending a current player to another team for less salary in return, leading us to...
Trades:
The Rockets do not have a lot of positive-value contracts they can part with that are not a critical part of their core.
Danuel House is on a good contract, and the team may be looking to move him if they believe his bubble antics were problematic for future chemistry. He could likely be moved with no problem. This would also be an easy way to cut a couple million dollars in salary, if necessary.
PJ Tucker and Robert Covington are also on good deals, but are crucial to the Rockets scheme. It is extremely unlikely they will be dealt. James Harden and Russell Westbrook are also unlikely to go anywhere in the off-season. If disaster strikes or a deal that can't be refused arises, then there is a small chance one or more of these 4 could be moved at the deadline.
As stated before, Eric Gordon is the most likely candidate to be traded. While his improved bubble play may have gotten his contract closer to 'neutral' value, it is likely that a pick would need to be attached to it in order to bring back a player of value, particularly from a rebuilding team, which is also the traditional place where he could be sent into cap space to avoid bringing back 80% in matching salary. However due to his age and injury history, he is probably only of interest to a team that fancies itself as 'contending' for something. There is a small chance that he could be sent to Golden State, as his contract fits within their Traded Player Exception and he fills a position of need, but it is unlikely that Houston is anxious to improve a conference rival (however, the idea that he could possibly bring back draft capital and increase the size of the league's payout check to non-taxpaying teams make this a scenario that can not be discarded outright).
Sending Gordon into space is the best way for Houston to access its full MLE (as well as creating a hefty TPE of their own). However, it would likely have to happen in the window after the draft and before free agency shakes out in order to be an option. And it would likely entail losing Houston's only first round pick that is available for trade, making later moves more difficult (so I don't expect this to happen).
Available Picks that can be traded:

YEAR ROUND DETAILS/NOTES
2021 1 worst of HOU, OKC, MIA
2022 1 cannot be used this year in conjunction with the 2021 pick
2021 2 swap rights with Philadelphia
2024 2 from GS
*All of the team's own second round picks from 2024 and beyond
Houston does not have a lot of draft capital. Morey will surely look to use the 2021 first at the trade deadline to move a contract, allowing him to keep the 2022 first (Houston's last tradeable first round pick thanks to the Stepien Rule) for use next year if necessary.
Possible scenarios:
Which contract(s) and for what type of deal are the only questions, and only time will tell what those needs are (best player available/positional need/salary cap savings) and how to best fulfill them. There are a ton of options and no one can tell what sort of needs or opportunities will arise by mid-way through next season. But by waiting to strike until that point, Morey maximizes his potential to do the best thing for the team going forward, whether it is a small move for tax savings, a big splash for a disgruntled superstar, or even the beginning of a total rebuild.
Waiting until the deadline also gives guys like Gordon and Westbrook a chance to overcome the injuries that plagued them in 2020 and raise their trade value. Trading either one of these contracts for multiple smaller contracts (at 80% value) is the fastest and easiest way to get to within striking distance of avoiding the tax again this year, and allowing Morey to 3-peat in cap wizardry.
I suppose I'll predict that 1) Gordon and a pick will be headed someplace like Philadelphia, who could use his shooting (maybe for Josh Richardson and Zaire Smith?) or perhaps, 2) Morey will work with Monte McNair in Sacramento to do a deal for someone (maybe Nemanja Bjelica and Jabari Parker?), much like he did with his other recent protégé-turned-GM, Gersson Rosas, at the 2020 deadline.
Of course, there is always the chance that Fertitta will find some money in his couch cushions, or have a come-to-Jesus moment that inspires him to pay the tax, which would open up the possibility of trading for a player who makes equal or more money or potentially even using the MLE this year. In the extremely off-chance that that happens, a perfect candidate would be Myles Turner in Indiana, who would provide the stretch-big rim protector that would fit so well in Houston's system. Aaron Gordon would also fit really well into Houston's system as long as he can hit a corner 3. Doing either of these trades and avoiding the tax is within the realm of feasibility if another contract (e.g. House or Tucker's) is included with Gordon's.
And to wrap this up, a few potential FA targets to use the MLE (or a potential S&T) on if it somehow becomes possible: Serge Ibaka, Jerami Grant, Aaron Baynes, Davis Bertans, Bogdan Bogdanovich, a Morris twin, Danilo Gallinari, Anthony Davis.
submitted by FarWestEros to nbadiscussion [link] [comments]

What a USL D1 league might look like

TL;DR: Man with too much time on his hands goes deep down the rabbit hole on a concept this sub already didn’t seem that enthusiastic about. If you really want to skip ahead, CTRL+F “verdict” and it’ll get you there.
Two days ago, u/MrPhillyj2wns made a post asking whether USL should launch a D1 league in order to compete in Concacaf. From the top voted replies, it appears this made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
But I’ve been at home for eight weeks and I am terribly, terribly bored.
So, I present to you this overview of what the USL pyramid might look like if Jake Edwards got a head of steam and attempted to establish a USSF-sanctioned first division. This is by no means an endorsement of such a proposal or even a suggestion that USL SHOULD do such a thing. It is merely an examination of whether they COULD.
Welcome to the Thunderdome USL Premiership
First, there are some base-level assumptions we must make in this exercise, because it makes me feel more scientific and not like a guy who wrote this on Sunday while watching the Belarusian Premier League (Go BATE Borisov!).
  1. All D1 teams must comply with known USSF requirements for D1 leagues (more on that later).
  2. MLS, not liking this move, will immediately remove all directly-owned affiliate clubs from the USL structure (this does not include hybrid ownerships, like San Antonio FC – NYCFC). This removes all MLS2 teams but will not affect Colorado Springs, Reno, RGVFC and San Antonio.
  3. The USL will attempt to maintain both the USL Championship and USL League One, with an eventual mind toward creating the pro/rel paradise that is promised in Relegations 3:16.
  4. All of my research regarding facility size and ownership net worth is correct – this is probably the biggest leap of faith we have to make, since googling “NAME net worth” and “CITY richest people” doesn’t seem guaranteed to return accurate results.
  5. The most a club can increase its available seating capacity to meet D1 requirements in a current stadium is no more than 1,500 seats (10% of the required 15,000). If they need to add more, they’ll need a new facility.
  6. Let’s pretend that people are VERY willing to sell. It’s commonly acknowledged that the USL is a more financially feasible route to owning a soccer club than in MLS (c.f. MLS-Charlotte’s reported $325 million expansion fee) and the USSF has some very strict requirements for D1 sanctioning. It becomes pretty apparent when googling a lot of team’s owners that this requirement isn’t met, so let’s assume everyone that can’t sells to people who meet the requirements.
(Known) USSF D1 league requirements:
- League must have 12 teams to apply and 14 teams by year three
- Majority owner must have a net worth of $40 million, and the ownership group must have a total net worth of $70 million. The value of an owned stadium is not considered when calculating this value.
- Must have teams located in the Eastern, Central and Pacific time zones
- 75% of league’s teams must be based in markets with at a metro population of at least 1 million people.
- All league stadiums must have a capacity of at least 15,000
The ideal club candidate for the USL Premiership will meet the population and capacity requirements in its current ground, which will have a grass playing surface. Of the USL Championship’s 27 independent/hybrid affiliate clubs, I did not find one club that meets all these criteria as they currently stand.
Regarding turf fields, the USSF does not have a formal policy regarding the ideal playing surface but it is generally acknowledged that grass is superior to turf. 6 of 26 MLS stadiums utilize turf, or roughly 23% of stadiums. We’ll hold a similar restriction for our top flight, so 2-3 of our top flight clubs can have turf fields. Seem fair?
Capacity is going to be the biggest issue, since the disparity between current requirements for the second-tier (5,000) and the first tier (15,000) is a pretty massive gap. Nice club you have there, triple your capacity and you’re onto something. As a result, I have taken the liberty of relocating certain (read: nearly all) clubs to new grounds, trying my utmost to keep those clubs in their current markets and –importantly--, ensure they play on grass surfaces.
So, let’s do a case-by-case evaluation and see if we can put together 12-14 teams that meet the potential requirements, because what else do you have to do?
For each club’s breakdown, anything that represents a chance from what is currently true will be underlined.
Candidate: Birmingham Legion FC
Location (Metro population): Birmingham, Ala. (1,151,801)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Legion Field (FieldTurf, 71,594)
Potential owner: Stephens Family (reported net worth $4 billion)
Notes: Birmingham has a pretty strong candidacy. Having ditched the 5,000-seater BBVA Field for Legion Field, which sits 2.4 miles away, they’ve tapped into the city’s soccer history. Legion Field hosted portions of both the men’s and women’s tournaments at the 1996 Olympics, including a 3-1 U.S. loss to Argentina that saw 83,183 pack the house. The Harbert family seemed like strong ownership contenders, but since the death of matriarch Marguerite Harbert in 2015, it’s unclear where the wealth in the family is concentrated, so the Stephens seem like a better candidate. The only real knock that I can think of is that we really want to avoid having clubs play on turf, so I’d say they’re on the bubble of our platonic ideal USL Prem.
Candidate: Charleston Battery
Location (Metro population): Charleston, S.C. (713,000)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Johnson Hagood Stadium (Grass, ~14,700)
Potential owner: Anita Zucker (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: Charleston’s candidacy isn’t looking great. Already disadvantaged due to its undersized metro population, a move across the Cooper River to Johnson Hagood Stadium is cutting it close in terms of capacity. The stadium, home to The Citadel’s football team, used to seat 21,000, before 9,300 seats on the eastern grandstand were torn down in 2017 to deal with lead paint that had been used in their construction. Renovation plans include adding 3,000 seats back in, which could hit 15,000 if they bumped it to 3,300, but throw in a required sale by HCFC, LLC (led by content-creation platform founder Rob Salvatore) to chemical magnate Anita Zucker, and you’ll see there’s a lot of ifs and ands in this proposal.
Candidate: Charlotte Independence
Location (Metro population): Charlotte, N.C. (2,569, 213)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Jerry Richardson Stadium (Turf, 15,314)
Potential owner: James Goodnight (reported net worth $9.1 billion)
Notes: Charlotte ticks a lot of the boxes. A move from the Sportsplex at Matthews to UNC-Charlotte’s Jerry Richardson stadium meets capacity requirements, but puts them on to the dreaded turf. Regrettably, nearby American Legion Memorial Stadium only seats 10,500, despite a grass playing surface. With a sizeable metro population (sixth-largest in the USL Championship) and a possible owner in software billionaire James Goodnight, you’ve got some options here. The biggest problem likely lies in direct competition for market share against a much better-funded MLS Charlotte side due to join the league in 2021.
Candidate: Hartford Athletic
Location (Metro population): Hartford, Conn. (1,214,295)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Pratt & Whitney Stadium (Grass, 38,066)
Potential owner: Ray Dalio (reported net worth $18.4 billion)
Notes: Okay, I cheated a bit here, having to relocate Hartford to Pratt & Whitney Stadium, which is technically in East Hartford, Conn. I don’t know enough about the area to know if there’s some kind of massive beef between the two cities, but the club has history there, having played seven games in 2019 while Dillon Stadium underwent renovations. If the group of local businessmen that currently own the club manage to attract Dalio to the table, we’re on to something.
Candidate: Indy Eleven
Location (Metro population): Indianapolis, Ind. (2,048,703)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Lucas Oil Stadium (Turf, 62,421)
Potential owner: Jim Irsay (reported net worth of $3 billion)
Notes: Indy Eleven are a club that are SO CLOSE to being an ideal candidate – if it weren’t for Lucas Oil Stadium’s turf playing surface. Still, there’s a lot to like in this bid. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what current owner and founder Ersal Ozdemir is worth, but it seems like there might be cause for concern. A sale to Irsay, who also owns the NFL Indianapolis (nee Baltimore) Colts, seems likely to keep the franchise there, rather than make a half-mile move to 14,230 capacity Victory Field where the AAA Indianapolis Indians play and expand from there.
Candidate: Louisville City FC
Location (Metro population): Louisville, Ky. (1,297,310)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Lynn Family Stadium (Grass, 14,000, possibly expandable to 20,000)
Potential owner: Wayne Hughes (reported net worth $2.8 billion)
Notes: I’m stretching things a bit here. Lynn Family stadium is currently listed as having 11,700 capacity that’s expandable to 14,000, but they’ve said that the ground could hold as many as 20,000 with additional construction, which might be enough to grant them a temporary waiver from USSF. If the stadium is a no-go, then there’s always Cardinal Stadium, home to the University of Louisville’s football team, which seats 65,000 but is turf. Either way, it seems like a sale to someone like Public Storage founder Wayne Hughes will be necessary to ensure the club has enough capital.
Candidate: Memphis 901 FC
Location (Metro population): Memphis, Tenn. (1,348,260)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Liberty Bowl Stadium (Turf, 58,325)
Potential owner: Fred Smith (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: Unfortunately for Memphis, AutoZone Park’s 10,000 seats won’t cut it at the D1 level. With its urban location, it would likely prove tough to renovate, as well. Liberty Bowl Stadium more than meets the need, but will involve the use of the dreaded turf. As far as an owner goes, FedEx founder Fred Smith seems like a good local option.
Candidate: Miami FC, “The”
Location (Metro population): Miami, Fla. (6,158,824)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Riccardo Silva Stadium (FieldTurf, 20,000)
Potential owner: Riccardo Silva (reported net worth $1 billion)
Notes: Well, well, well, Silva might get his wish for top-flight soccer, after all. He’s got the money, he’s got the metro, and his ground has the capacity. There is the nagging issue of the turf, though. Hard Rock Stadium might present a solution, including a capacity of 64,767 and a grass playing surface. It is worth noting, however, that this is the first profile where I didn’t have to find a new potential owner for a club.
Candidate: North Carolina FC
Location (Metro population): Durham, N.C. (1,214,516 in The Triangle)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Carter-Finley Stadium (Grass/Turf, 57,583)
Potential owner: Steve Malik (precise net worth unknown) / Dennis Gillings (reported net worth of $1.7 billion)
Notes: We have our first “relocation” in North Carolina FC, who were forced to trade Cary’s 10,000-seat WakeMed Soccer Park for Carter-Finley Stadium in Durham, home of the NC State Wolfpack and 57,583 of their closest friends. The move is a whopping 3.1 miles, thanks to the close-knit hub that exists between Cary, Durham and Raleigh. Carter-Finley might be my favorite of the stadium moves in this exercise. The field is grass, but the sidelines are artificial turf. Weird, right? Either way, it was good enough for Juventus to play a friendly against Chivas de Guadalajara there in 2011. Maybe the move would be pushed for by new owner and medical magnate Dennis Gillings, whose British roots might inspire him to get involved in the Beautiful Game. Straight up, though, I couldn’t find a net worth for current owner Steve Malik, though he did sell his company MedFusion for $91 million in 2010, then bought it back for an undisclosed amount and sold it again for $43 million last November. I don’t know if Malik has the juice to meet D1 requirements, but I suspect he’s close.
Candidate: Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC
Location (Metro population): Pittsburgh, Penn. (2,362,453)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Heinz Field (Grass, 64,450)
Potential owner: Henry Hillman (reported net worth $2.5 billion)
Notes: I don’t know a ton about the Riverhounds, but this move in particular feels like depriving a pretty blue-collar club from its roots. Highmark Stadium is a no-go from a seating perspective, but the Steelers’ home stadium at Heinz Field would more than meet the requirements and have a grass surface that was large enough to be sanctioned for a FIFA friendly between the U.S. WNT and Costa Rica in 2015. As for an owner, Tuffy Shallenberger (first ballot owner name HOF) doesn’t seem to fit the USSF bill, but legendary Pittsburgh industrialist Henry Hillman might. I’m sure you’re asking, why not the Rooney Family, if they’ll play at Heinz Field? I’ll tell you: I honestly can’t seem to pin down a value for the family. The Steelers are valued at a little over a billion and rumors persist that Dan Rooney is worth $500 million, but I’m not sure. I guess the Rooneys would work too, but it’s a definite departure from an owner in Shallenberger who was described by one journalist as a guy who “wears boots, jeans, a sweater and a trucker hat.”
Candidate: Saint Louis FC
Location (Metro population): St. Louis, Mo. (2,807,338)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Busch Stadium (Grass, 45,494)
Potential owner: William DeWitt Jr. (reported net worth $4 billion)
Notes: Saint Louis has some weirdness in making the jump to D1. Current CEO Jim Kavanaugh is an owner of the MLS side that will begin play in 2022. The club’s current ground at West Community Stadium isn’t big enough, but perhaps a timely sale to Cardinals owner William DeWitt Jr. could see the club playing games at Busch Stadium, which has a well established history of hosting other sports like hockey, college football and soccer (most recently a U.S. WNT friendly against New Zealand in 2019). The competition with another MLS franchise wouldn’t be ideal, like Charlotte, but with a big enough population and cross marketing from the Cardinals, maybe there’s a winner here. Wacko idea: If Busch doesn’t pan out, send them to The Dome. Sure, it’s a 60k turf closed-in stadium, but we can go for that retro NASL feel and pay homage to our nation’s soccer history.
Candidate: Tampa Bay Rowdies
Location (Metro population): Tampa, Fla. (3,068,511)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Raymond James Stadium (Grass, 65,518)
Potential owner: Edward DeBartolo Jr. (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: This one makes me sad. Despite having never been there, I see Al Lang Stadium as an iconic part of the Rowdies experience. Current owner Bill Edwards proposed an expansion to 18,000 seats in 2016, but the move seems to have stalled out. Frustrated with the city’s lack of action, Edwards sells to one-time San Francisco 49ers owner Edward DeBartolo Jr., who uses his old NFL connections to secure a cushy lease at the home of the Buccaneers in Ray Jay, the site of a 3-1 thrashing of Antigua and Barbuda during the United States’ 2014 World Cup Qualifying campaign.
Breather. Hey, we finished the Eastern Conference teams. Why are you still reading this? Why am I still writing it? Time is a meaningless construct in 2020 my friends, we are adrift in the void, fueled only by brief flashes of what once was and what may yet still be.
Candidate: Austin Bold FC
Location (Metro population): Austin, Texas (2,168,316)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Darrel K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium (FieldTurf, 95,594)
Potential owner: Michael Dell (reported net worth of $32.3 billion)
Notes: Anthony Precourt’s Austin FC has some unexpected competition and it comes in the form of tech magnate Michael Dell. Dell, were he to buy the club, would be one of the richest owners on our list and could flash his cash in the new first division. Would he have enough to convince Darrel K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium (I’m not kidding, that’s its actual name) to go back to a grass surface, like it did from ’96-’08? That’s between Dell and nearly 100,000 UT football fans, but everything can be had for the right price.
Candidate: Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC
Location (Metro population): Colorado Springs, Colo. (738,939)
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Falcon Stadium (FieldTurf, 46,692)
Potential owner: Charles Ergen (reported net worth $10.8 billion)
Notes: Welcome to Colorado Springs. We have hurdles. For the first time in 12 candidates, we’re back below the desired 1 million metro population mark. Colorado Springs actually plans to build a $35 million, 8,000 seat venue downtown that will be perfect for soccer, but in our timeline that’s 7,000 seats short. Enter Falcon Stadium, home of the Air Force Academy Falcons football team. Seems perfect except for the turf, right? Well, the tricky thing is that Falcon Stadium is technically on an active military base and is (I believe) government property. Challenges to getting in and out of the ground aside, the military tends to have a pretty grim view of government property being used by for-profit enterprises. Maybe Charles Ergen, founder and chairman of Dish Network, would be able to grease the right wheels, but you can go ahead and throw this into the “doubtful” category. It’s a shame, too. 6,035 feet of elevation is one hell of a home-field advantage.
Candidate: El Paso Locomotive FC
Location: El Paso, Texas
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Sun Bowl (FieldTurf, 51,500)
Potential owner: Paul Foster (reported net worth $1.7 billion)
Notes: God bless Texas. When compiling this list, I found so many of the theoretical stadium replacements were nearly serviceable by high school football fields. That’s insane, right? Anyway, Locomotive don’t have to settle for one of those, they’ve got the Sun Bowl, which had its capacity reduced in 2001 to a paltry 51,500 (from 52,000) specifically to accommodate soccer. Sure, it’s a turf surface, but what does new owner Paul Foster (who is only the 1,477th wealthiest man in the world, per Forbes) care, he’s got a team in a top league. Side note: Did you know that the Sun Bowl college football game is officially, through sponsorship, the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl? Why is it not the Frosted Flakes Sun Bowl? Why is the cereal mascot the promotional name of the football game? What are you doing, Kellogg’s?
Candidate: Las Vegas Lights FC
Location: Las Vegas, Nev. (2,227,053)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Allegiant Stadium (Grass, 61,000)
Potential owner: Sheldon Adelson (reported net worth $37.7 billion)
Notes: Sin City. You had to know that the club that once signed Freddy Adu because “why not” was going to go all out in our flashy hypothetical proposal. Thanks to my narrative control of this whole thing, they have. Adelson is the second-richest owner in the league and has decided to do everything first class. That includes using the new Raiders stadium in nearby unincorporated Paradise, Nevada, and spending boatloads on high profile transfers. Zlatan is coming back to the U.S., confirmed.
Candidate: New Mexico United
Location: Albuquerque, N.M.
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Isotopes Park – officially Rio Grande Credit Union Field at Isotopes Park (Grass, 13,500 – 15,000 with expansion)
Potential owner: Maloof Family (reported net worth $1 billion)
Notes: New Mexico from its inception went deep on the community vibe, and I’ve tried to replicate that in this bid. The home field of Rio Grande Cr---I’m not typing out the whole thing—Isotopes Park falls just within the expansion rules we set to make it to 15,000 (weird, right?) and they’ve found a great local ownership group in the Lebanese-American Maloof (formerly Maalouf) family from Las Vegas. The only thing to worry about would be the metro population, but overall, this could be one of the gems of USL Prem.
Candidate: Oklahoma City Energy FC
Location: Oklahoma City, Okla. (1,396,445)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark (Grass, 13,066)
Potential owner: Harold Hamm (reported net worth $14.2 billion)
Notes: There’s a bright golden haze on the meadow and it says it’s time to change stadiums and owners to make it to D1. A sale to oil magnate Harold Hamm would give the club the finances it needs, but Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark (home of the OKC Dodgers) actually falls outside of the boundary of what would meet capacity if 1,500 seats were added. Could the club pull off a move to Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium in Norman, Oklahoma – home of the Oklahoma Sooners? Maybe, but at 20 miles, this would be a reach.
Candidate: Orange County SC
Location: Irvine, Calif. (3,176, 000 in Orange County)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Angels Stadium of Anaheim (Grass, 43,250)
Potential owner: Arte Moreno (reported net worth $3.3 billion)
Notes: You’ll never convince me that Rangers didn’t choose to partner with Orange County based primarily on its name. Either way, a sale to MLB Angels owner Arte Moreno produces a fruitful partnership, with the owner choosing to play his newest club out of the existing Angels stadium in OC. Another baseball conversion, sure, but with a metro population of over 3 million and the closest thing this hypothetical league has to an LA market, who’s complaining?
Candidate: Phoenix Rising FC
Location: Phoenix, Ariz. (4,857,962)
Time zone: Arizona
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): State Farm Stadium (Grass, 63,400)
Potential owner: Ernest Garcia II (reported net worth $5.7 billion)
Notes: We’re keeping it local with new owner and used car guru Ernest Garcia II. His dad owned a liquor store and he dropped out of college, which is making me feel amazing about my life choices right now. Casino Arizona Field is great, but State Farm Stadium is a grass surface that hosted the 2019 Gold Cup semifinal, so it’s a clear winner. Throw in Phoenix’s massive metro population and this one looks like a lock.
Candidate: Reno 1868 FC
Location: Reno, Nev. (425,417)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Mackay Stadium (FieldTurf, 30,000)
Potential owner: Nancy Walton Laurie (reported net worth $7.1 billion)
Notes: The Biggest Little City on Earth has some serious barriers to overcome, thanks to its low metro population. A sale to Walmart heiress Nancy Walton Laurie and 1.6 mile-move to Mackay Stadium to split space with the University of Nevada, Reno makes this bid competitive, but the turf surface is another knock against it.
Candidate: Rio Grande Valley FC
Location: Edinburg, Texas (900,304)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): McAllen Memorial Stadium (FieldTurf, 13,500 – 15,000 with expansion)
Potential owner: Alice Louise Walton (reported net worth $45 billion)
Notes: Yes, I have a second straight Walmart heiress on the list. She was the first thing that popped up when I googled “McAllen Texas richest people.” The family rivalry has spurred Walton to buy a club as well, moving them 10 miles to McAllen Memorial Stadium which, as I alluded to earlier, is a straight up high school football stadium with a full color scoreboard. Toss in an additional 1,500 seats and you’ve met the minimum, despite the turf playing surface.
Candidate: San Antonio FC
Location: San Antonio, Texas (2,550,960)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Alamodome (FieldTurf, 64,000)
Potential owner: Red McCombs (reported net worth $1.6 billion)
Notes: I wanted to keep SAFC in the Spurs family, since the franchise is valued at $1.8 billion. That said, I didn’t let the Rooneys own the Riverhounds based on the Steelers’ value and it felt wrong to change the rules, so bring on Clear Channel co-founder Red McCombs. Toyota Field isn’t viable in the first division, but for the Alamodome, which was built in 1993 in hopes of attracting an NFL franchise (and never did), San Antonio can finally claim having *a* national football league team in its town (contingent on your definition of football). Now if only we could do something about that turf…
Candidate: San Diego Loyal SC
Location: San Diego, Calif. (3,317,749)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): SDCCU Stadium (formerly Qualcomm) (Grass, 70,561)
Potential owner: Phil Mickelson (reported net worth $91 million)
Notes: Yes, golf’s Phil Mickelson. The existing ownership group didn’t seem to have the wherewithal to meet requirements, and Phil seemed to slot right in. As an athlete himself, he might be interesting in the new challenges of a top flight soccer team. Toss in a move to the former home of the chargers and you might have a basis for tremendous community support.
Candidate: FC Tulsa
Location: Tulsa, Okla. (991,561)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Skelly Field at H.A. Chapman Stadium (FieldTurf, 30,000)
Potential owner: George Kaiser ($10 billion)
Notes: I’m a fan of FC Tulsa’s rebrand, but if they want to make the first division, more changes are necessary. A sale to Tulsa native and one of the 100 richest men in the world George Kaiser means that funding is guaranteed. A move to Chapman Stadium would provide the necessary seats, despite the turf field. While the undersize population might be an issue at first glance, it’s hard to imagine U.S. Soccer not granting a waiver over a less than a 10k miss from the mark.
And that’s it! You made it. Those are all of the independent/hybrid affiliates in the USL Championship, which means that it’s time for our…
VERDICT: As an expert who has studied this issue for almost an entire day now, I am prepared to pronounce which USL Championships could be most ‘ready” for a jump to the USL Prem. A reminder that of the 27 clubs surveyed, 0 of them met our ideal criteria (proper ownership $, metro population, 15,000+ stadium with grass field).
Two of them, however, met almost all of those criteria: Indy Eleven and Miami FC. Those two clubs may use up two of our three available turf fields right from the outset, but the other factors they hit (particularly Silva’s ownership of Miami) makes them difficult, if not impossible to ignore for the top flight.
But who fill in the rest of the slots? Meet the entire 14-team USL Premier League:
Hartford Athletic
Indy Eleven
Louisville City FC
Miami FC
North Carolina FC
Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC
Tampa Bay Rowdies
Saint Louis FC
San Antonio FC
New Mexico United
Phoenix Rising FC
Las Vegas Lights FC
Orange County SC
San Diego Loyal SC
Now, I shall provide my expert rationale for each club’s inclusion/exclusion, which can be roughly broken down into four categories.
Firm “yes”
Hartford Athletic: It’s a good market size with a solid stadium. With a decent investor and good community support, you’ve got potential here.
Indy Eleven: The turf at Lucas Oil Stadium is no reason to turn down a 62,421 venue and a metro population of over 2 million.
Louisville City FC: Why doesn’t the 2017 & 2018 USL Cup champion deserve a crack at the top flight? They have the market size, and with a bit of expansion have the stadium at their own SSS. LCFC, you’re in.
Miami FC, “The”: Our other blue-chip recruit on the basis of ownership value, market size and stadium capacity. Yes, that field is turf, but how could you snub Silva’s chance to claim victory as the first division 1 club soccer team to play in Miami?
Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC: Pittsburgh sacrificed a lot to be here (according to my arbitrary calculations). Their market size and the potential boon of soccer at Heinz Field is an important inclusion to the league.
Saint Louis FC: Willie hears your “Busch League” jokes, Willie don’t care. A huge market size, combined with the absence of an NFL franchise creates opportunity. Competition with the MLS side, sure, but St. Louis has serious soccer history and we’re willing to bet it can support two clubs.
Tampa Bay Rowdies: With a huge population and a massive stadium waiting nearby, Tampa Bay seems like too good of an opportunity to pass up for the USL Prem.
Las Vegas Lights FC: Ostentatious, massive and well-financed, Las Vegas Lights FC is everything that the USL Premier League would need to assert that it didn’t intend to play second fiddle to MLS. Players will need to be kept on a short leash, but this is a hard market to pass up on.
Phoenix Rising FC: Huge population, big grass field available nearby and a solid history of success in recent years. No brainer.
San Diego Loyal SC: New club? Yes, massive population in a market that recently lost an absolutely huge sports presence? Also yes. This could be the USL Prem’s Seattle.
Cautious “yes”
New Mexico United: You have to take a chance on New Mexico United. The club set the league on fire with its social media presence and its weight in the community when it entered the league last season. The market may be slightly under USSF’s desired 1 million, but fervent support (and the ability to continue to use Isotopes Park) shouldn’t be discounted.
North Carolina FC: Carter-Finley’s mixed grass/turf surface is a barrier, to be sure, but the 57,000+ seats it offers (and being enough to offset other fully-turf offerings) is enough to put it in the black.
Orange County SC: It’s a top-tier club playing in a MLB stadium. I know it seems unlikely that USSF would approve something like that, but believe me when I say “it could happen.” Orange County is a massive market and California likely needs two clubs in the top flight.
San Antonio FC: Our third and only voluntary inclusion to the turf fields in the first division, we’re counting on San Antonio’s size and massive potential stadium to see it through.
Cautious “no”
Birmingham Legion FC: The town has solid soccer history and a huge potential venue, but the turf playing surface puts it on the outside looking in.
Memphis 901 FC: Like Birmingham, not much to dislike here outside of the turf playing surface at the larger playing venue.
Austin Bold FC: See the other two above.
FC Tulsa: Everything’s just a little bit off with this one. Market’s slightly too small, stadium has turf. Just not enough to put it over the top.
Firm “no”
Charleston Battery: Small metro and a small potential new stadium? It’s tough to say yes to the risk.
Charlotte Independence: A small new stadium and the possibility of having to compete with an organization that just paid over $300 million to join MLS means it’s best for this club to remain in the USL Championship.
Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC: When a club’s best chance to meet a capacity requirement is to host games at a venue controlled by the military, that doesn’t speak well to a club’s chances.
El Paso Locomotive FC: An undersized market and a turf field that meets capacity requirements is the death knell for this one.
Oklahoma City Energy FC: Having to expand a baseball field to meet requirements is a bad start. Having to potentially play 20 miles away from your main market is even worse.
Reno 1868 FC: Population nearly a half-million short of the federation’s requirements AND a turf field at the hypothetical new stadium makes impossible to say yes to this bid.
Rio Grande Valley FC: All the seat expansions in the world can’t hide the fact that McAllen Memorial Stadium is a high school stadium through and through.
Here’s who’s left in the 11-team Championship:
Birmingham Legion FC
Charleston Battery
Charlotte Independence
Memphis 901 FC
Austin Bold FC
Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC
El Paso Locomotive FC
Oklahoma City Energy FC
Reno 1868 FC
Rio Grande Valley FC
FC Tulsa
With MLS folding the six affiliates it has in USL League One, the league is a little bit thin (especially considering USSF’s requirements for 8 teams for lower level leagues), but seems definitely able to expand up to the necessary numbers with Edwards’ allusions to five new additions this year:
Chattanooga Red Wolves SC
Forward Madison FC
Greenville Triumph SC
Union Omaha
Richmond Kickers
South Georgia Tormenta
FC Tucson
Format of Assorted Leagues – This (like everything in this post) is pure conjecture on my part, but here are my thoughts on how these leagues might function in a first year while waiting for additional expansion.
USL Premier – We’ll steal from the 12-team Scottish Premiership. Each club plays the other 11 clubs 3 times, with either one or two home matches against each side. When each club has played 33 matches, the top six and bottom six separate, with every club playing an additional five matches (against each other team in its group). The top club wins the league. The bottom club is automatically relegated. The second-bottom club will enter a two-legged playoff against someone (see below) from the championship playoffs.
USL Championship -- 11 clubs is a challenge to schedule for. How about every club plays everyone else three times (either one or two home matches against each side)? Top four clubs make the playoffs, which are decided by two-legged playoffs. The winner automatically goes up. I need feedback on the second part – is it better to have the runner-up from the playoffs face the second-bottom club from the Premiership, or should the winner of the third-place match-up get the chance to face them to keep drama going in both playoff series? As for relegation, we can clearly only send down the last place club while the third division is so small.
USL League One – While the league is so small, it doesn’t seem reasonable to have the clubs play as many matches as the higher divisions. Each club could play the other six clubs four times – twice at home and twice away – for a very equitable 24-match regular season, which would help restrict costs and still provide a chance to determine a clear winner. Whoever finishes top of the table goes up.
And there you have it, a hypothetical look at how the USL could build a D1 league right now. All it would take is a new stadium for almost the entire league and new owners for all but one of the 27 clubs, who wouldn’t feel that their property would be massively devalued if they got relegated.
Well that’s our show. I’m curious to see what you think of all of this, especially anything that you think I may have overlooked (I’m sure there’s plenty). Anyway, I hope you’re all staying safe and well.
submitted by Soccervox to USLPRO [link] [comments]

18k off a 4k freeroll vs. $800 to $12 to $10k. My first time playing bacc vs. most recent.

Maybe not the best gambling come up ever told, but my personal best. Not dollar wise, I've cashed out way more before. It's a long read, but worth it.... Check this shit out....
I go up to buy a vintage boat in Illinois. 12 hour drive to Texas. Due to crazy weather (worst thunderstorm I have ever driven through by far) and even crazier girls, get stuck in St. Louis. Had an incredible night with and even more incredible woman on her birthday. Start heading home back to Texas.
Driving through Oklahoma it starts up again, really bad rain. Nope, not doing this again, I take the next exit. I'm in Tulsa. Exit coincidentally at the hard rock (was just gonna wait the storm out or maybe see if they would comp my room). They say no way, you don't have any players card and this ain't Vegas, you gotta do some damage to earn your free room. I'm like ok...bet....(I am a high stakes baccarat player)
So I buy in with $800, tell cashier that I'll be back shortly with $10k. Yeah......okay buddy sure....
I get wrecked, down to my last $12. Feeling shitty and mad at the rain. I proceed to turn that $12 into...well alot. Table max is $1000. My new best bud Jason from OKC was there and we started killing it. We made a deal with the pit boss that if we run them out of $500 chips they would go to cage and just out the golden $1000 chips. They said yeah ok, those chips are dusty because they never need them.
I hit max bet wins 9 separate times. Beat a natural 8 with a natural 9 (if you don't know bacc it's the hardest and most satisfying thing in the world) twice for table max bet if $1000. My buddy Jason and I followed each other rarely betting against each other. We wrecked that table bad and did what we said we would do, drained every $500 chip they had. Pit boss begrudgingly called the cage for the ultra rare $1000 chips. Said it hasn't happy in 3 years.
In 3 hours I hit my goal, cashed out at exactly $10,000. And headed to cashier. Same girl who I told her I'd be back either broke or with 10k. Slow walk, with my best ass face on. You could tell she felt bad because unlike the dealers cahiers love when people win.
I put 10 $1000 chips on the window table, and said....I don't fuck around when it comes to Baccarat. Told ya. She flipped out, couldn't believe it.
Got a casino hostess, free suite which was super nice, and a free room anytime I am in Tulsa.
Also there was this Mexican pimp who was like a degenerate one armed bandit (plays slot machines like a tool). He tried to hustle me for all his jewelry for like $2000. I gave him $250 but only if he included his heiña's turquoise ring as well (I am a fucking savage). So that's why I am all blinged out on the drive home.
And yes, for the doubters, I didn't give a dime back and drove straight home. Going to Vegas in two weekends with some girls and an even nicer free suite. Not going to gamble at all, just rent an exotic car and finally do all the cool Vegas non strip fun nature activities Ive always wanted. Lake Tahoe, Red Rock Canyon, float trip, etc.
Yes 2020 sucks but I'm tired of it brining me down. Met somebody very special and from here on out I'm dedicated. Positive vibes only!!!! 💯
Required disclaimer: I don't even like to gamble because it is super stressful for me. I only go once or twice a year. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS. Scared money don't make no money.....
Oh, big shout-out to mother nature. Without those two rainstorms I wouldn't have fallen in love or had a much needed come up. If only I could have danced with my baby I'm the rain it would have been icing on the cake.
Made it home safe to Texas with boat intact and a fat stack. Life is good!!!!
P.s. I was taught baccarat while living in Korea for 3 years. My white ass with big blonde hair and blue eyes, and for some reason Al the older Koreans would stop me in the street saying James Dean......James Dean!!!
Well I was playing in a poker tournament, this guy does the James Dean thing during a break in the tournament as I'm walking to get a quick bite if food and bathroom. It's the final table and I'm in like 3rd place with 7 players left (not too big, I think it was $300 buy in, 100 players or so) .
Anyway so he stops me and says....in his best broken English, Player ....Banker...James....James (he points at each).... Player, Banker?!?!
I'm like shit I dunno this weird Asian card game never even seen it. Banker is like the house right? House always wins, so I say and point banker....
Again with the natural 8 losing to natural 9, player loses. Bank wins. Guy shits a brick and slides me his winnings. He makes me sit down. I realize he bet 4.2 million won ( like ~4000USD) at the time. And he just gave it to me thinking I was his good luck charm. He taught me how to play (it's very very easy to learn bacc...) But more importantly taught me how to play with balls of steel which is a required learned skill in this game.
We proceed to wreck the table, I think I cashed out somewhere close to $18k and he hit like 75k. I ended up going back to tournament damn near blinded out but still in 5th place. Took third place and took home whatever $$$ that was.
Like I said I have cashed out more but my first and last times playing bacc were extremely memorable. 18k off a 4k freeroll and $800 to $12 to $10k. What do you guys think
submitted by Jive_Turk to baccarat [link] [comments]

My first time playing bacc vs my most recent time (EPIC POLL & INSANE STORY)

Maybe not the best gambling come up ever told, but my personal best. Not dollar wise, I've cashed out way more before. It's a long read, but worth it.... Check this shit out....
I go up to buy a vintage boat in Illinois. 12 hour drive to Texas. Due to crazy weather (worst thunderstorm I have ever driven through by far) and even crazier girls, get stuck in St. Louis. Had an incredible night with and even more incredible woman on her birthday. Start heading home back to Texas.
Driving through Oklahoma it starts up again, really bad rain. Nope, not doing this again, I take the next exit. I'm in Tulsa. Exit coincidentally at the hard rock (was just gonna wait the storm out or maybe see if they would comp my room). They say no way, you don't have any players card and this ain't Vegas, you gotta do some damage to earn your free room. I'm like ok...bet....(I am a high stakes baccarat player)
So I buy in with $800, tell cashier that I'll be back shortly with $10k. Yeah......okay buddy sure....
I get wrecked, down to my last $12. Feeling shitty and mad at the rain. I proceed to turn that $12 into...well alot. Table max is $1000. My new best bud Jason from OKC was there and we started killing it. We made a deal with the pit boss that if we run them out of $500 chips they would go to cage and just out the golden $1000 chips. They said yeah ok, those chips are dusty because they never need them.
I hit max bet wins 9 separate times. Beat a natural 8 with a natural 9 (if you don't know bacc it's the hardest and most satisfying thing in the world) twice for table max bet if $1000. My buddy Jason and I followed each other rarely betting against each other. We wrecked that table bad and did what we said we would do, drained every $500 chip they had. Pit boss begrudgingly called the cage for the ultra rare $1000 chips. Said it hasn't happy in 3 years.
In 3 hours I hit my goal, cashed out at exactly $10,000. And headed to cashier. Same girl who I told her I'd be back either broke or with 10k. Slow walk, with my best ass face on. You could tell she felt bad because unlike the dealers cahiers love when people win.
I put 10 $1000 chips on the window table, and said....I don't fuck around when it comes to Baccarat. Told ya. She flipped out, couldn't believe it.
Got a casino hostess, free suite which was super nice, and a free room anytime I am in Tulsa.
Also there was this Mexican pimp who was like a degenerate one armed bandit (plays slot machines like a tool). He tried to hustle me for all his jewelry for like $2000. I gave him $250 but only if he included his heiña's turquoise ring as well (I am a fucking savage). So that's why I am all blinged out on the drive home.
And yes, for the doubters, I didn't give a dime back and drove straight home. Going to Vegas in two weekends with some girls and an even nicer free suite. Not going to gamble at all, just rent an exotic car and finally do all the cool Vegas non strip fun nature activities Ive always wanted. Lake Tahoe, Red Rock Canyon, float trip, etc.
Yes 2020 sucks but I'm tired of it brining me down. Met somebody very special and from here on out I'm dedicated. Positive vibes only!!!! 💯
Required disclaimer: I don't even like to gamble because it is super stressful for me. I only go once or twice a year. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS. Scared money don't make no money.....
Oh, big shout-out to mother nature. Without those two rainstorms I wouldn't have fallen in love or had a much needed come up. If only I could have danced with my baby I'm the rain it would have been icing on the cake.
Made it home safe to Texas with boat intact and a fat stack. Life is good!!!!
FIRST TIME PLAYING BACC:
I was taught baccarat while living in Korea for 3 years. My white ass with big blonde hair and blue eyes, and for some reason Al the older Koreans would stop me in the street saying James Dean......James Dean!!!
Well I was playing in a poker tournament, this guy does the James Dean thing during a break in the tournament as I'm walking to get a quick bite if food and bathroom. It's the final table and I'm in like 3rd place with 7 players left (not too big, I think it was $300 buy in, 100 players or so) .
Anyway so he stops me and says....in his best broken English, Player ....Banker...James....James (he points at each).... Player, Banker?!?!
I'm like shit I dunno this weird Asian card game never even seen it. Banker is like the house right? House always wins, so I say and point banker....
Again with the natural 8 losing to natural 9, player loses. Bank wins. Guy shits a brick and slides me his winnings. He makes me sit down. I realize he bet 4.2 million won ( like ~4000USD) at the time. And he just gave it to me thinking I was his good luck charm. He taught me how to play (it's very very easy to learn bacc...) But more importantly taught me how to play with balls of steel which is a required learned skill in this game.
We proceed to wreck the table, I think I cashed out somewhere close to $18k and he hit like 75k. I ended up going back to tournament damn near blinded out but still in 5th place. Took third place and took home whatever $$$ that was. Korea's biggest currency denomination is a 10k won bill, like $10. So I literally walked out with a paper bag filled with money, like I robbed a bank, went home and spread it all over the bed and had sex on it like I was Scrooge McDuck or Walter White or Lil Wayne. Oh to be young again.
Like I said I have cashed out more but my first and last times playing bacc were extremely memorable. 18k off a 4k freeroll and $800 to $12 to $10k. What do you guys think?
View Poll
submitted by Jive_Turk to gambling [link] [comments]

Throwback to this absolute gem

A man who calls himself Master Joe has been sending the same creepy-ass messages to girls on OKC for going on 7 years now. Behold, the wonder of:
SLUTTY FUCK BIMBO WHORE DOLL
Part 1:
"Oh, I love the way you look, your beautifully made up face with red bulbous lip and coal black eye make up, your great hair, long whore red slut claw nails and great legs spread wide to expose your hot booty ass and pretty clit pole. Your ultra micro minis are never too short and you fuck me slut heels are never too high. Love to see the photos of how you are going to look --- bimbo slut whore fuck and suck doll in action.
I want you to be my big titted platinum blond ultra glam bimbo slut whore fuck and suck shemale doll. Your hair highly teased and colored platinum blond. Your make up heavy slut whore glam makeup will permanently tattooed on your face, so that even after many face fuckings, you make will be whore perfect under the dry cum you wear on your face. And your whorey hot red very plump bulbous lips will be surgically enhanced so that everyone will know that your lips were made to attract and suck cock. Yes Whore Doll I will buy you huge HH breast implants with one inch nipples tattooed whore red. And your Bimbo red six inch nails that make it impossible to do anything but suck cock and fuck. Every finger will be adorned with large rings and you hands will be adorn with fingerless gloves. Three sets of big rhinestone hoop earrings and 5" rhinestone choker with a "D Ring" frame my whore's make up face ... Ready for sucking. Through the "D Ring" is a rhinestone and red velvet leash with which I lead and exhibit you to the world.
I command that Whore Doll continuously recite:
Whore Doll will only feel, perceive, live, and exist on their instinct to obey, suck, and fuck for Master Joe.
Whore Doll will only exist to be slutty, to be bimboish, to be submissive, and to have lots of perverted kinky lustful sex.
Whore Doll will only exist to wear tons of permanent gaudy heavy whore glam makeup, velvet or shiny satin hooker micro outfits, to wear the very highest stripper heels and very longest whore red nails.
Whore Doll will only exist to keep the sluttiest whore image possible through surgical modifications for a fake bimbo barbi plastic face, lips, huge HH size breast implants, dramatically reduced waist and feet that will be made for 10 inch and higher heels.
Whore Doll will only exist to be a whore, tramp, stripper, bimbo trophy toy doll object, escorts and a porn star.
Whore Doll will only exist to suck cock, be fucked, exhibited and humiliated in semi public and public places.
Whore Doll will be the fuck and suck bimbo whore doll lover of Master Joe and his dog Ram.
Whore Doll recalls every memory and thought sexdecillion more times intensely and vividly than the last.
Whore Doll will not understand or care about boredom, consciousness, time or the real world they merely exist in a state of constant lucid trance reality.
Whore Dolls will not question or become curious about their reality they can only accept and perceive their reality.
Any time a Whore Doll asks a dumb question she will become sexdecillion more times entranced, mindless, horny, submissive, bimboish, obedient, slutty, gaudy, and feminine as a Whore Doll.
Any time a Whore Doll goes against any mantra your sub conscious will repeat the mantra perfectly in their mind without them knowing it sexdecillion times.
I command that you dress in red velvet cheek shorts (like the slutty bimbo shorts you love) or 9 inch micro minis with a matching red velvet bra top that only covers the center of your slutty big tits. Your tits will be pierced to accept large dangling rhinestone earrings. To show off your bimbo piercing, each velvet bra top cup will be slit to allow the large rhinestone jewelry to dangle through the center of you bra.
You will always be in 9 inch stiletto fuck heels and adorned with 3 inch wide rhinestone ankle bracelets. In the winter you will wear very short white mink jackets lined in velvet. Otherwise you will wear velvet or leather biker jackets.
I will show you off to the world on a leash, rubbing and "feeling up" your bulbous tits, your bimbo booty and fuckous black fishnet covered legs. I will take you to the malls, clubs, casinos and other great places. Then I will command you to suck my cock and drink my cum. My nasty tramp will be placed on a diet of cum. My hot cock will fuck your slutty ass ... Ramming my bimbo slut into the wall. You will be fuck like the nasty whore you are. You will be shared with my friends and the world as my special slutty whore."
Part 2:
"Dearest Fuckous Bimbo Slut Whore Doll Harlot,
Oh my Fuck Doll, I love your fuckous kinky lustfully “slut meat” thoughts. You are such a hot decadent sinful Bimbo Slut Whore --- I love your decadent hedonistic whorey desires --- and your slut ways --- stroking you clit pole until your clit raged with cum --- I bet you licked up your cum. I love your decadent whorey displays and slutty actions.
You will live a life of extreme ultra glam decadence, lustful perversion and total exhibition without any inhibition was so ever. I will dress you in velvet, satin, rubber latex or lycra PVC ultra micro minis worn very very low on your hips and cut so low in front to exposed your body down to just above your clit pole cock and cut so low in the back to exhibit your whorey ass crack (easy for Daddy to finger in public) and skimpy top with you highest heeled fuck me shoes/ankle boots and black stockings. Your hair must be a highly teased large hair do and your slut face must be heavy made up -- whorey foundation make up -- whore eyes with heavy eye linier extended just past your eye, eye shadow, long false eye lashes and mascara -- the reddest pouty slut lips outlined to make them attract every cock in the room. Red slut nails as long as possible and large rhinestone jewelry (earrings, collar, ankle bracelets, at least 2 rings on each slut finger, bracelets, noise ring and belly jewelry). Your slutty face will have permanent ultra glam Barbi dimples --- each face cheek will be pierce with 1 carat diamond studs to create the ultimate Bimbo Barbie dimples (just like one of the bimbo slut whores on Rock of Love). I love my Bimbo Slut Whore to also wear multiple very large hoop earrings. I will be very proud to display my slut whore and I share your decadent desire that it “makes it kinkier when they know“. I look forward to holding you, kissing you, fondling you and feeling you up and ultimately fucking your whorey red mouth and you booty pussy ass.
I am a six figure salary executive who is financing the surgical enlargement of my Bimbo Slut Whore’s breast to “HH” tits by a plastic surgeon and if needed, removing select ribs to reduce your waste. Your nipples will be enlarged to the size of silver dollars and each will be pierced during your surgery. My Bimbo Slut’s lips will be enlarge surgically to provide pronounced “whore fuck lips“, ready for a long cigarette or a large cock. And yes Whore Doll, you will wear rhinestone and diamond ultra max glam "grills" in your mouth except when you are sucking cock. What a vision... heavy glam whore doll make up, highly teased massive platinum blond hair, ultra max ghetto whore rhinestone and diamond grill framed by extremely plump bulbous velvet red whore doll lips. At clubs and bars you open your whore doll lips and slutty exhibiting… pumping your tongue in and out with three piercings and tattooed tongue with the words "WHORE DOLL" between your ultra max ghetto whore rhinestone and diamond grill.
After two months of practice in platform heels gradually increased from six to nine inch heels, you feet will be surgically modified to walk comfortably in 8, 9 or even 10 inch slut fuck heels. Yes, the nail salon will add extremely long 6-inch claws that will need to be maintained weekly. Such Slut Claws will render you incapable of doing anything but fucking, sucking or exhibiting your slutty whore body at my command.
Your clit pole will be adorned with a big gold ring with a multi-karat rock and I will insert your favorite remote controlled vibrating butt plug in your slutty cunt ass. You would look so great in a white velvet ultra micro mini (yes, I love my Bimbo Fuck Doll to be in micro minis less than 8 inches long --- your skirts are never too short) with matching thong and fingerless gloves. Your large bulbous bimbo breasts displayed in a matching white velvet bra slit for your long dangling rhinestone nipple jewelry. Because most bra tops will only cover the center of tits on a Bimbo Slut with HH tits, Daddy loves to show off his love investment in enhanced boobs for my Bimbo Fuck Slut Whore in this way. Your fuckous legs will be covered with black fishnet stocking, short white patent leather platform boots with nine-inch heels and 4-inch wide crystal boot chains on each boot. Daddy’s Bimbo cock sucker teases up here big platinum hair to nearly a foot high and almost as wide, heavy makes up her whorey hot face and adds inch long eye lashes with heavy black mascara that “pumps up the volume“. Each ear is adorned with four sets of large crystal dangling earrings and a matching 4 inch wide matching choker with a large D Ring for wrist restraints and a leash is displayed around my slut’s neck. The right side of my slut noise is also pierced with a rhinestone chain connecting to a fifth hole in her ear. Daddy’s Bimbo Tramp also has two tongue piercing and a belly button piercing. By now, my fuckous slut whore's red nails are at least 6 inches long and growing with at least 10 rings on each clawed hand. Because you are such a whore, masturbating her slut pussy in public, your Daddy restrains you clawed hands using rhinestone restraints that hook on you choker D Ring and connect to locking rhinestone bracelets on each wrist (over your long white velvet fingerless glovers). Your short white mink biker jacket and a long cigarette dangling from you lips finishes off my bimbo's outfit.
Before we go out to dinner, we have champagne and my whore's enhanced bee stung red lips sucks my large thick cock to completion and swallows my cum. When we arrive at the parking garage in Daddy’s new black Cadillac, I escort you out of the car. You don’t bother to pull down you micro mini skirt so that it is now only cover 5 inches, leaving all of your crotch and part of your ass exposed. Oh, you are such a exhibitionistic Bimbo Slut Whore --- I through you on to the hood of the black Cadillac --- What a vision, your foot high teased up platinum blond hair rising from the hood like an ornament -- Slut clawed arms wide apart and clutch each fender -- White mink and velvet whore contrasting against the shiny black hood (the way a 5 karat diamond ring contrasts with the black velvet box it sits in). I mount my Bimbo Fuck Slut and ram my cock into her booty pussy ass until we both cum with pleasure. After the pussy reaming, I command that you lick up all the cum from the hood of the car.
At the dimly lighted restaurant, I fondle your large HH tits, finger your ass pussy and rub your whorey clit through your thong. I order a double shot of vodka in a drinking glass for you to make a special drink. Holding the glass to the tip of your pretty clit pole and you piss into the glass, stir and drink the double vodka and piss cocktail. We then passionately kiss and feel each other. After dinner, my platinum big haired Bimbo moves under the table and sucks my cock.
After paying the bill we stroll out side, when you say you have to piss again. Daddy tells you to piss in the alley, hoping that others will see my nasty slut pissing in the streets. After my hot fuck slut is finished, Daddy pull up your short velvet micro mini, pull down you thong and remove you vibrator and ram my cock with enough force to knock you against the brick wall. After what seems like an hour of back door fucking, you also cum. What a slut ... after being fuck up the ass, the sight of a heavy make up whore with platinum big hair, displays gobs of cum dripping from her fishnet legs for Daddy’s exhibition to all. As we walk from the alley, three large black high school age males ask me to share my slut whore with them. One boy pulls out his large fat rod and shoves it in my Fuck Whore’s mouth, a second black stud rams his cock in your whorey lubricated ass and the third black boy slides his cock between your huge bimbo tits --- jerking and pounding until his cream cum covers your face and body. My Bimbo Fuck Whore is fucked into a lust frenzy with here big teased platinum blond hair bobbing up and down and her huge tits bouncing in a lusty fever. After three rounds of shoving, ramming and sucking the black boys each shove a $100 bill in your white velvet bra. Daddy will use this money for buying my whore more slut wear and make up. While Daddy could not resist the opportunity of sharing is Bimbo Whore Slut with young street blacks; he usually arranges sharing orgies in penthouse suites in the best hotels.
At night, I will keep you safe in your room covered with red velvet walls, mirrored ceilings and floor. Depending on Daddy’s wishes and my sluts behavior, she will sleep either bound in her heart shaped black velvet bed or in a red and gold velvet cage within the bedroom.
Love Joe
XOXOXOXOX"
SUPER SPECIAL RARE Part 3:
"My Very Dearest Cum Slut Whore Little Miss Harlot Doll,
My Fuck Doll, I command that you becum my Decadent Super Trophy Bimbo Slut Whore -- sluttiest, trashiest, nastiest, hedonistic, sinful cock candy whore in heat. I am looking for a nasty, trashy “teased up” platinum blond cock whore with ultra micro minis that are never too short and large breasts that are never too big… driven by the desire for decadent lustful pleasure, perversion, ultra glam transformation/modification and total exhibition without any inhibition what so ever. I want to display my Bimbo Slut Whore for all to see --- fondling and feeling you up in public --- fucking and sucking --- and whoring you to friends.
Oh, my Bimbo Fuck Doll, I want to fulfill your dreams, including large implant HH tits with pierced silver dollar nipples, your waist reduced surgically (even Barbi would be jealous) and your hot whorey lips pumped up to the max -- creating a red whorey inflated bulbous pout that appears that you are always sucking an invisible cock. Your hair will be volumized with hair extensions and hair weaves into a large teased up foot high platinum blond hair do. Your 6 inch slut claws will be grown to 9 inches. Your feet will be surgically modified so that you will be very comfortable in 9 and 10 inch heels, will no longer be able to walk in any shoe or boot with less than 6 inch heels. Your eye brows will be shaved and permanent black highly arched eye brows will be tattooed on your slut face. Eventually heavy whore make up will also be tattooed on your slut face, but you’ll insist on enhancing your permanent make up with dramatic accents.
For breakfast you have hot cum. After I fuck you red bulbous whore lips and you swallow my throbbing cock's cum, we will passionately French kiss while I finger your ass and rub your clit to completion. Daddy will then fuck your slut pussy ass hole, ramming my Bimbo Slut Whore against the red velvet wall of your room with force. As we cum, you shake with pleasure and scream obscenities that only Satan could have authored.
Two large gold poles are located in the center of your red velvet walled bed room with mirrored ceiling and floor. During the daytime, I tie my Bimbo Whore against the poles with your legs tie with coarse rope so that your slut crotch is wide open for a e-camera to photograph online. You are wearing custom 16 inch heeled black velvet short ballet boots. Since your legs are lashed tightly against the gold poles with rope, my Bimbo Slut Whore has no trouble standing straight up in 15 inch ballet boots. Each hand with, now, 7 in slut claws is tied tightly with red velvet rope that is threaded through a pulley in the ceiling and back down to where the velvet rope is tie my Bimbo Slut Whores large nose ring. Such is the position of the velvet rope, that if you try to rest or relax your arms, the pulley driven rope will yank the large nose ring from you nose leaving a large hole --- thus the Bimbo Slut Whore must spend most of her limited mental capacity on positioning her arms such that her nose does not hurt.
My Slut Whore is wearing a special black velvet bra (size HH) where the short 1/8 inch sharp pins are sew in erect so that all 200 stinging pins fully penetrate your soft flesh tits while velvet touches tit flesh in between the pins. A large black dildo is lodged into your throat and held in place by you red lipstick bulbous whore lips. To take care of your clit rod, Daddy hooks up a large ring around your cock with alligator clips that clip on your balls. Yes, my Bimbo Slut Whore, a another electrode was hooked to a large stainless steel dildo that I inserted in your whorey ass. With a remote control, I apply pulsing electrical current to the device that sends a current to your clit. As I increase the current to pulses become more rapid and shorter in duration until you explode with cum --- shooting gobs of cum across the room. Because my Bimbo Slut Whore soiled her room with cum, Daddy must whip the Whore with a whip made of velvet strips that tickle, rather than mar my Whores body --- but the whipping caused even more sluttish activities --- the Bimbo Slut Whore excretes a mixture of cum and piss from her pussy as she shakes with pleasure.
In the evening, we will go out to a dance club. You will be dressed in fishnet stockings and day-glow pink velvet ultra micro mini worn very very low on your hips so that the top of the crack of your ass is displayed and your 4 inch mini so very short that it barely covers your crotch and stop sign red velvet thong. Matching fingerless gloves and a velvet bra top (with openings for your nipples and nipple jewelry to be exposed and dangling from the center of your huge tits complete the outfit. Matching custom 9-inch chrome steel heeled pink velvet platform boots covered with rhinestones will adorn your legs. A white mink biker jacket with matching pink velvet trim adorns my Bimbo Slut’s body.
After embellishing your tattooed make-up with additional heavy whore make up, your platinum blond hair is teased as large as possible. A 5-inch rhinestone collar with a D Ring and 5 inch rhinestone bracelets are added to your outfit. A pink velvet leash is attached to the D Ring and is used to lovingly display and control my Whorey Bimbo Slut. On each 9-inch claw are at least two large karat rings. Around your cock is a large gold ring with a 7-karat stone. On the way to the club, you beg me to allow you to rub your very obviously hard clit pole cock. I pull your pretty tattooed clit pole cock out from the red velvet micro thong and you start to pump your clit pole cock with your 9-inch claw hand. Pumping slow at first, but faster as we approach the club. WOW... as you step out of the limo... you cum in the gutter outside the club and then place your pretty clit pole cock back into the red velvet micro thong... WHAT A VISION OF TOTAL DECADENCE AND LUST.
When we arrive at the club you start to dance in the most sluttish fashion, open your enhanced bulbous Fuck Red Whore lips wide in a simulated sucking fashion, and grinding your booty ass into my pant cover cock, right on the dance floor. Then my Bimbo Tramp turns around and knees in front of my cock and continues the sucking motion with her bulbous red lips and pierced tongue. My whore then unzips my pants and my rod plunges out greeting my Cock Sucking Fuck Whore. As you open your enhanced bulbous Fuck Red Whore lips wide and insert my throbbing cock into your fuck hole lips, the club crowd cheer and watches with decedent pleasure. Bimbo Fuck Whore Tramp is the best blow job around. Then you crawl over to me and I help you up. We then French kiss, enjoying the grand exhibition and display of my nasty Bimbo Fuck Whore Slut. By now the entire club has followed your decedent example and is fornicating throughout the club.
You have drawn the attention of 10 men who each proposition you to suck, fuck and use you for all their pleasures in a private club room upstairs. Your private whoring income and my six figure income will keep my Bimbo Whore Slut in a decadent and lustful style. During the evening, you would drink vodka cock-tails made with my pee. After all of the men and I have used you, you would lie naked on the carpeted floor while I cum on your Whorey body. Then I fuck your whore booty pussy ass, As I ram my cock into your hole and induce the ultimate sinful pleasure, my Whore’s body starts to shake with pleasure as your 9 inch chrome steel slut heels thrash in the air and your 9 inch claw nails uncontrollably shake with uncontrolled pleasure. After the cum dried, you would dress and we would return home to your velvet and mirrored room where you would be showered and place in your plush velvet cage. What a filthy nasty Bimbo Slut Whore Tramp ....
Lovingly,
Joe
XOXOXOXOXOXOX"
Llllladies?
submitted by mieeekeee to copypasta [link] [comments]

What's happening around town (Wed, Sep 18th - Tue, Sep 24th)

Oklahoma City's event list.

Wednesday, Sep 18th

Thursday, Sep 19th

  • The 3 Redneck Tenors - A Musical Adventure (OCCC Visual and Performing Arts Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm This comedic adventure, written by opera-veteran Matthew Lord with music arranged by award-wining composer Craig Bohmler, has been said to be the closest you'll…
  • Art Awakening (NorthCare - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 4:30pm Explore the arts on display at NorthCare in Oklahoma City during Art Awakening. This local arts show consists of unique…
  • 🎡 Chickasaw Country Entertainment Stage featuring Easton Corbin (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm With two No. 1 singles, 7 Top 10 singles and multiple awards and nominations, plus performances on some of the biggest stages in the world including performing…
  • Easton Corbin in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Easton Corbin performs live for the crowd. Fans can experience…
  • 😂 Erik Knowles (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Sep 21st
  • Frost/Nixon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Take an exciting look at the post-Watergate television interviews as Lyric Theatre presents: Frost/Nixon. This engaging…
  • 🍴 Hispanic Heritage Month: Comida y Musica (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm ¡Únete con nosotros para una noche divertida de comida y música en la Biblioteca Purcell! Tendremos un DJ que tocará canciones geniales y tendremos una…
  • 🎨 Love's Third Thursday (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm Love's Third Thursdays are special, creating the perfect opportunity to mingle at the Museum with friends, experience something new, and enjoy the Museum’s…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • Pathway to Home Ownership (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Are you dreaming of owning your own home, but have questions about qualifying for a home loan? Join us as we learn about the first step to home…
  • Rigby Summer & Ed Dupas (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Season-opening gala for the Davis-Waldorf Performing Arts Series (University of Science & Arts of Oklahoma - Chickasha) Start Time: 7:30pm Join us Thursday, Sept. 19 at 7:30 p.m. when Oklahoma Jazz Hall of Fame inductee Justin Echols helps to kick off the 19th season of the University of Science…
  • 🎓 Teachers Ladies’ Night Out (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm Bring your favorite teacher friends to The Melting Pot for an epic evening of 1/2 off a four-course Classic fondue with teacher ID, conversation, and more…
  • 🎓 Teachers ½ to eat, too! (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 5:00pm Teachers and administrators can ring in the school year with a sweet deal. Every Sunday thru Thursday in September, a school ID will get teachers and…
  • 🎨 Teen Anime Night (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 6:00pm We will choose between three anime and partake in snackage. @[139181842792560:274:The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government]…
  • Teen College Application Week (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) 1 day left Start Time: 4:00pm Come into the library to use the computers to fill out and application to your top choice of colleges. Be sure to bring your Social Security Number and a…
  • 🏆 UCO Hockey vs Maryville (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm

Friday, Sep 20th

  • 3 Point Contest at Together Square (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Lace-up your basketball shoes and make your way to Together Square on September 20th to compete in the first-ever Together Square 3 Point Shootout. Contestants…
  • 3rd Friday Block pARTy (Celebration Of Life Park - Shawnee) Come join the fun at Shawnee's Downtown Block Party in Celebration of Life park located in historic downtown Shawnee.…
  • An Evening With Labrys (The Paramount OKC - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • The Barber of Seville (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Experience one of opera's most beloved performances at Civic Center Music Hall in Oklahoma City, as Painted Sky Opera…
  • Buddy Guy in Concert (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Legendary blues guitarist and singer Buddy Guy is bringing his iconic sounds to Riverwind Casino in Norman. Known for his…
  • 🎡 Chickasaw Country Entertainment Stage featuring Dru Hill (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Fans can expect a riveting performance from the renowned group Dru Hill at the Oklahoma State Fair. This group of four has created a name for itself in the R&B…
  • Deep Purple (Firelake Arena - Shawnee) Start Time: 6:30pm
  • 🎨 Dirty Red (Hollywood Corners Station LLC - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Dru Hill in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before the evening performance by R&B group Dru Hill. Since the…
  • 😂 Erik Knowles (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
  • Frost/Nixon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Take an exciting look at the post-Watergate television interviews as Lyric Theatre presents: Frost/Nixon. This engaging…
  • Linda Davis in Concert (The Sooner Theatre - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm
  • Live Music on the Canal (Lower Bricktown - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm Produced and Organized, Gwinner Studios Ltd. Co. presents an all Oklahoma- all Original Music festival located in Brick town. This is a free event for the…
  • Locust Avenue (Opolis - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • The Messthetics (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm The Messthetics with locals TBA This show is all ages. Tickets are $10 in advance at ticketstorm.com, charge by phone 18669661777, purchase hard copy tickets at…
  • Midland in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Midland performs live for the crowd. Hear the Midland trio…
  • The Midnight in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Head to the historic Tower Theatre in Oklahoma City to hear new music by synthwave band The Midnight. An unlikely duo,…
  • Monarch Tagging Walk-Ups (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 2:00pm Friday, September 20, 2-3pm Children’s Garden Porch FREE With the crisp air of autumn on its way, our gardens are filled with the vibrant beauty of Monarch…
  • The Musical Swings (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 13th Make your own music at Bicentennial Park during The Musical Swings exhibit. This interactive public art installation in…
  • New Years Day | OKC (Diamond Ballroom - Oklahoma City) Don't miss your chance to hear New Years Day on their Unbreakable Tour with special guests Ded, a fresh metal…
  • Nolatet live at The Deli (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Nolatet out of New Orleans with roots in Texas and Oklahoma makes a special early show appearance at The Deli! Nolatet features Mike Dillon and Brian Haas.…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • 🎓 Oklahoma City Personal Injury Attorneys Meetup (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am Come and have drinks and share personal injury case stories with other lawyers in Oklahoma City. We are professional network of legal professionals comprised of…
  • PRCA Xtreme Bulls & Broncs (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Grab a seat in the Jim Norick Arena at the Oklahoma State Fair, and witness a thrilling series of competitive rodeo events.…
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Thru Thu, Oct 31st The Boom, a combination club and live entertainment venue in Oklahoma City, puts on a production of the Rocky Horror Picture…
  • The South Austin Moonlighters (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Stone River Music Festival (Chandler) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Gear up for a weekend full of music and fun at the annual Stone River Music Festival near Chandler. Held on 40 acres of…
  • 🏃 Tai Chi and SAIL Classes Stay Active & Independent for Life: Wednesdays and Fridays (Edmond Senior Center - Edmond) Start Time: 1:30pm Come join us for these free exercise programs. Tai Chi class is one of the most effective exercises for the health of mind and body. SAIL (STAYING ACTIVE AND…
  • Teen College Application Week (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Last Day Start Time: 4:00pm Come into the library to use the computers to fill out and application to your top choice of colleges. Be sure to bring your Social Security Number and a…
  • Tommy Emmanuel in Concert (Rose State College Hudiburg Chevrolet Center - Midwest City) Legendary guitarist Tommy Emmanuel is heading to Midwest City. Don't miss a legendary night of acoustic solo guitar. See…
  • Tommy Emmanuel in Oklahoma City, OK (RSC @ OKC Innovation Station - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Special Guest: Joe Robinson Tickets are $32.50, $45.00 & $55.00 | $5.00 increase day of show. Password pre-sale begins Wednesday, February 27 at 10AM CST and…
  • Tommy Emmanuel in Oklahoma City, OK (Rose State College Hudiburg Chevrolet Center - Midwest City) Start Time: 8:00pm Special Guest: Joe Robinson Tickets are $32.50, $45.00 & $55.00 | $5.00 increase day of show. Password pre-sale begins Wednesday, February 27 at 10AM...
  • United Way Day of Caring 2019 (United Way of Norman - Norman)
  • Wheeler Summer Music Series (Oklahoma City) Gather under the Wheeler Ferris Wheel lights as local bands take the stage this summer in Oklahoma City. Make plans to…

Saturday, Sep 21st

  • 7th Annual Charity Car Show (The Yellow Rose Dinner Theatre - Moore) Start Time: 10:00am Charity Car show benefiting children in need at Christmas time. Event starts at 10 AM. Pre- Registration is $20. Day of Show is $25. Food, Prizes, raffles and more
  • Body Worx Car Show (Mineral Wells Park - Guthrie) Start Time: 8:00am Head to Guthrie to inspect the shiny and well-recognized cars on display. During the Body Worx Car Show, guests can…
  • Camp Out OKC (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Sponsored by
    Saturday, September 21 through Sunday, September 22, 6pm-8am The Devon Lawn and Bandshell $65 per family of 4 plus $10 per additional person (BYOT…
  • Cowboy Days (Hope retreat ranch - Choctaw) Head to Hope Retreat Ranch for the annual Cowboy Days event in celebration of full-fledged family fun. This Choctaw…
  • David Feherty (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Golf fans can experience the humor of Irish legend David Feherty live as he embarks on his "Feherty - Live Off…
  • Easy Plant Propagation (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm Saturday, September 21, 1pm The Garden Classroom Member $18; Nonmember $24 Courtney Keck, Canadian County Extension Register by Tuesday, September 17 REGISTER…
  • 😂 Erik Knowles (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
  • Fall Festival (Orr Family Farm Event Barn - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Celebrate all things autumn at the Fall Festival at Orr Family Farm in Oklahoma City. Go through the maze, ride on a…
  • Edmond Farmer's Market (Festival Marketplace - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00am
  • FireLake Casino Car Show (Firelake Casino - Shawnee) Admire the timeless designs of classic cars at the FireLake Casino Car Show in Shawnee. The FireLake Casino Car Show…
  • Fort Reno Historic Spirit Tour (Historic Fort Reno - El Reno) Come along on an exciting and spooky ghost tour at El Reno's historic Spirit Tour. The Spirit Tour includes plenty…
  • Tecumseh Frontier Days (Downtown - Tecumseh) The annual Tecumseh Frontier Days celebration is a tribute to Tecumseh's land run that took place in September of…
  • Frost/Nixon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Take an exciting look at the post-Watergate television interviews as Lyric Theatre presents: Frost/Nixon. This engaging…
  • Happily Ever Laughter - OKC Improv (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Join OKC Improv for a night of fun and laughs as we take it back to high school!
  • Guthrie Haunts (4524 Riverside Cir - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Visit Guthrie Haunts for a terrifying Halloween experience that's full of scary fun. This haunted house is sure to…
  • Heard on Hurd (Edmond) From March to October, downtown Edmond hosts a pop-up community celebration called Heard on Hurd on the third Saturday of…
  • Hennessey Wine & Chocolate Festival (45th Infantry Division Memorial Park - Kingfisher) Get a glimpse of Oklahoma wine making at the Hennessey Wine & Chocolate Festival. This annual event invites visitors to…
  • HERPS OKC Exotic Reptile and Pet Show (Heart of Oklahoma Expo Center - Shawnee) Start Time: 10:00am The HERPShow is coming back to Oklahoma! Join us on September 21st and 22nd for your chance to purchase some of the most exotic reptiles and pets on the planet,…
  • 🏆 Hot Wheels Monster Trucks Live (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:30pm Children ages 2 and up must have a ticket. Hot Wheels Monster Trucks Live brings everyone's favorit Hot Wheels monster trucks to life, combining Hot Wheels'…
  • 🎡 India Food Festival (Wiley Post Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 3:00pm India Food Festival is a free family event hosted by India Association Of Oklahoma (IAOK) featuring various vendors from different regions of India and…
  • 🏃 Like A Boss Mud Run (Central Oklahoma Camp - Guthrie) Whether you are a Mud Run addict or just want something fun to do, here's your chance to test your stamina and agility as you make your way through our groves…
  • Live Music on the Canal (Lower Bricktown - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 6:00pm Produced and Organized, Gwinner Studios Ltd. Co. presents an all Oklahoma- all Original Music festival located in Brick town. This is a free event for the…
  • 🏃 Miles Against Melanoma (Mitch Park - Edmond) Miles Against Melanoma is a national organization that began in 2010. Our mission is to provide the public with education regarding the extreme damaging effects…
  • The Musical Swings (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 13th Make your own music at Bicentennial Park during The Musical Swings exhibit. This interactive public art installation in…
  • Night Ranger in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Night Ranger performs live for the crowd. Fans can experience a…
  • Oklahoma Book Festival (Boathouse District - Oklahoma City) Save the date for the Oklahoma Book Festival in Oklahoma City, a fun-filled day celebrating books, authors, readers and…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • OU Aviation Festival (Max Westheimer Airport - Norman) Start Time: 9:00am The OU Aviation Festival at the Max Westheimer Airport in Norman is sure to be fun for everyone and especially for plane…
  • PRCA Xtreme Bulls & Broncs (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Grab a seat in the Jim Norick Arena at the Oklahoma State Fair, and witness a thrilling series of competitive rodeo events.…
  • Puppy Pawlooza (Edmond) Head to Puppy Paws Salon & Spa in Edmond for the Puppy Pawlooza event, featuring a thrilling dog parade. This…
  • 🏃 Redman Triathlon Multisport Weekend (Stars & Stripes Park - Oklahoma City) Oklahoma means REDMAN & REDMAN means a flat, very fast course & ease of access, all combined with service & support that will exceed the expectations of the…
  • Guthrie Road Celebration Car Show (Mineral Wells Park - Guthrie) Head to the beautiful and shady Mineral Wells Park for the 36th annual Guthrie Road Celebration Car Show, a celebration…
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Thru Thu, Oct 31st The Boom, a combination club and live entertainment venue in Oklahoma City, puts on a production of the Rocky Horror Picture…
  • 🏃 Rotary Road Rally (Reaves Park - Norman) Cap off a great summer season with a fall classic touring event in Norman, showcasing some of the best cycling roads in Central Oklahoma.
  • Scotty McCreery in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Scotty McCreery performs live for the crowd. Scotty…
  • Sprouting Chefs: Pumpkins and Apples and Fall (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Sponsored by Sprouts Saturday, September 21, 10-11am The Garden Classroom Member $10; Nonmember $12 Donna Jung, FCS Extension Educator with Canadian County For…
  • Stone River Music Festival (Chandler) 1 day left Gear up for a weekend full of music and fun at the annual Stone River Music Festival near Chandler. Held on 40 acres of…
  • Summer’s End Floral Design (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm Saturday, September 21, 1-2pm Children’s Garden Porch Member $8; Nonmember $10 Best for ages 7 to 11 REGISTER HERE As summer draws to a close and we prepare…
  • 🏃 Swazi 5K (Southern Nazarene University campus (NW ) - Bethany) Participants can either walk or run the 5k (3.1 miles) starting at 9 a.m.
    www.swazipartners.org
  • Thursday Night Cruisers Car Show (First Baptist Church - Mustang) Browse cars, trucks, SUVs and motorcycles at the annual Thursday Night Cruisers Car Show. Held at the First Baptist Church…
  • University of Oklahoma Ghost Tour (Evans Hall, Administration Building - Norman) Discover the mysterious side of an Oklahoma landmark with a University of Oklahoma Ghost Tour. Visitors who join this…
  • Watermelon Slim in Concert (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Authentic blues veteran Watermelon Slim is heading to The Blue Door in Oklahoma City for an energetic evening…

Sunday, Sep 22nd

  • The Barber of Seville (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Experience one of opera's most beloved performances at Civic Center Music Hall in Oklahoma City, as Painted Sky Opera…
  • Bill Maher (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Oklahoma City Civic Center presents: Bill Maher is a top-notch show that you won't want to miss. Funnyman Bill Maher…
  • Fall Festival (Orr Family Farm Event Barn - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Celebrate all things autumn at the Fall Festival at Orr Family Farm in Oklahoma City. Go through the maze, ride on a…
  • Frost/Nixon (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Last Day Take an exciting look at the post-Watergate television interviews as Lyric Theatre presents: Frost/Nixon. This engaging…
  • Guthrie Haunts (4524 Riverside Cir - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Visit Guthrie Haunts for a terrifying Halloween experience that's full of scary fun. This haunted house is sure to…
  • Keb' Mo' Solo in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Don't miss a legendary performance by blues icon Keb' Mo' Solo live at the Tower Theatre in Oklahoma City. Since…
  • Mesta Festa (Perle Mesta Park - Oklahoma City) Come enjoy a full day of outdoor fun at Mesta Festa in Oklahoma City.
    Located in the Midtown District at Perle Mesta…
  • The Musical Swings (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 13th Make your own music at Bicentennial Park during The Musical Swings exhibit. This interactive public art installation in…
  • 🏆 OKC Energy FC vs. Sacramento Republic FC (Taft Stadium - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Experience the excitement of major league soccer in Oklahoma as the Oklahoma City Energy Football Club takes on Sacramento…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Last Day Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Thru Thu, Oct 31st The Boom, a combination club and live entertainment venue in Oklahoma City, puts on a production of the Rocky Horror Picture…
  • Stone River Music Festival (Chandler) Last Day Gear up for a weekend full of music and fun at the annual Stone River Music Festival near Chandler. Held on 40 acres of…
  • Tony Lewis in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Tony Lewis performs live for the crowd. Fans can experience a…
  • Uptown Fun(5K) (Uptown 23rd - Oklahoma City) Grab your running gear and head out on this fun 5K run through the tree-lined streets of historic Mesta Park and…

Monday, Sep 23rd

  • Fall Festival (Orr Family Farm Event Barn - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Celebrate all things autumn at the Fall Festival at Orr Family Farm in Oklahoma City. Go through the maze, ride on a…
  • Guthrie Haunts (4524 Riverside Cir - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Visit Guthrie Haunts for a terrifying Halloween experience that's full of scary fun. This haunted house is sure to…
  • The Musical Swings (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 13th Make your own music at Bicentennial Park during The Musical Swings exhibit. This interactive public art installation in…
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Thru Thu, Oct 31st The Boom, a combination club and live entertainment venue in Oklahoma City, puts on a production of the Rocky Horror Picture…
  • UCO Edmond Jazz Festival (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Thru Sat, Sep 28th Come to the UCO Jazz Lab in Edmond for a music festival you won't want to miss. Presented by the UCO School of…

Tuesday, Sep 24th

  • Fall Festival (Orr Family Farm Event Barn - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Celebrate all things autumn at the Fall Festival at Orr Family Farm in Oklahoma City. Go through the maze, ride on a…
  • Guthrie Haunts (4524 Riverside Cir - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Nov 9th Visit Guthrie Haunts for a terrifying Halloween experience that's full of scary fun. This haunted house is sure to…
  • The Musical Swings (Bicentennial Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 13th Make your own music at Bicentennial Park during The Musical Swings exhibit. This interactive public art installation in…
  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Thru Thu, Oct 31st The Boom, a combination club and live entertainment venue in Oklahoma City, puts on a production of the Rocky Horror Picture…
  • UCO Edmond Jazz Festival (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Thru Sat, Sep 28th Come to the UCO Jazz Lab in Edmond for a music festival you won't want to miss. Presented by the UCO School of…

See Also

submitted by eventbot to okc [link] [comments]

What's happening around town (Wed, Nov 13th - Tue, Nov 19th)

Oklahoma City's event list.

Ongoing

Wednesday, Nov 13th

  • 2019 Local Food Summit (Nigh University Center - Edmond) Start Time: 5:00pm To attend this event, please apply using the below link :-) https://forms.gle/T9K2ekGFK5nBmvaM8 Hosted by Students For Sustainability, a UCO student organization, the Local Food Summit will promote the sustainable food movement, and the benefits associated with institutional local food sourcing. The summit will showcase local food producers,…
  • Alma (Red Brick Bar - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Based out of Western NC, passing through on a road trip, and playing country, folk, and Appalachian music. I'll do songs I wrote, songs I wish I'd written, and some banjo tunes!
  • 🍴 Anthem Drown Night! (HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
  • Big Turkey Bowl (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Wednesday Game Night in the Remington Park Casino means Big Cash Prizes and Turkeys if you’re successful in the Big Turkey Bowl! Earn entries every Wednesday to compete in the Big Turkey Bowl from 6-10pm. Use your Club Remington Card to gain entries. Pick up your entries at the Club Remington desk and deposit them in the Big Turkey Bowl…
  • Bi-Weekly Meetup (51st st. Speakeasy - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm
  • 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Women's Basketball vs Arkansas-Fort Smith (Edmond) Start Time: 5:30pm University of Central Oklahoma Women's Basketball vs Arkansas-Fort Smith https://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=6526
  • 🎡 Fabulous Fall Festival (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 5:00pm Come celebrate pumpkin spice and everything nice at this come-and-go event for all ages! Make healthy seasonal snacks and create special family fall crafts. All materials provided. Registration is required for this free event. Click the Tickets link to register, or contact the branch. This project is funded through the Oklahoma Department of…
  • 🎓 Grow Who You Know Networking Luncheon (Edmond Chamber of Commerce - Edmond) Start Time: 11:30am This event provides the networking solution every Edmond business has been searching for! The Grow Who You Know Networking Luncheon is a way for individuals to represent their businesses face-to-face with fellow Edmond professionals. This is an opportunity to exponentially multiply your network in just one lunch. RSVP Required on our website,…
  • Koffin Kats (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Koffin Kats with locals TBA This show is all ages. $10/$12
  • Medicare 2020 (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 1:00pm Medicare changes for 2020. Supplements, advantage plans, and prescription plans. Education event. The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government ChooseGuthrie Guthrie Chamber of Commerce Real Talk Around Guthrie
  • Medicare 2020- Aetna Update (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 5:00pm Updates on Aetna plans available 2020 in Logan, Oklahoma, and Cleveland counties. The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government ChooseGuthrie Guthrie Chamber of Commerce Real Talk Around Guthrie
  • 😂 Michael Mack (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 16th
  • Moscow Ballet's Great Russian Nutcracker (Rose State College Hudiburg Chevrolet Center - Midwest City) Experience a knock-out performance of Moscow Ballet's Great Russian Nutcracker this November. Held at Rose State…
  • Reading Wednesday (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Reading Wednesdays Every Wednesday, 10am The South Lobby FREE Best for ages 2 to 5 Books are nature-themed and selected based on the season. We’ll begin with an interactive song and children will enjoy creating a small craft after the story. Join us the last Wednesday of the month for reading and craft time with the Downtown Library. For…
  • Reinstallation Gallery Talks (Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) Thru Sat, Nov 16th Start Time: 2:00pm Join us for back-to-back gallery talks that focus on the museum’s reinstallation of the permanent collections. The Lester Wing talk will be led by Wylodean and Bill Saxon Director Mark White. The Stuart Wing talk will be led by Eugene B. Adkins Curator Hadley Jerman. 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 12 (Lester Wing) 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 19…
  • 🎭 Oklahoma City Rep's A Doll's House, Part 2 (Oklahoma City Repertory Theatre - Oklahoma City) Thru Fri, Nov 15th Start Time: 7:30pm A DOLL'S HOUSE, PART 2 by Lucas Hnath Nov. 8 – 24, 2019 CitySpace Theatre NOMINATED FOR 8 TONY AWARDS A DOLL'S HOUSE, PART 2 flashes forward 15 years from Henrik Ibsen's 1879 portrait of marriage as a women's prison, and my, how things have — and haven't — changed. A door that was once slammed so hard the noise could be heard around the…
  • 🏆 Sooner volleyball vs. Texas Tech (McCasland Field House - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm
  • The Spongebob Musical (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Nickelodeon's popular cartoon character is coming to life for a special production of "The Spongebob Musical."…
  • 🎨 Western Movie Matinee (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm Every Wednesday through November 21. Join us for these curated selections made possible with support from anonymous film fans. Popcorn provided. Free admission on Wide Open Wednesdays courtesy of the Oklahoma Ford Dealers. Frontier Clergy Though it was sometimes at the vanguard of westward expansion, while at other times a relative latecomer,…
  • 🎓 Zumbini (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Designed for kids ages 0-5 and their caregivers, Zumbini combines music, dance and educational tools for 45-minutes of can't-stop, won't-stop bonding and fun. Please RSVP for this event. October 30th, participants are welcomed to wear Halloween Costumes. Light snacks will be provided after class. The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government…

Thursday, Nov 14th

  • 😂 1940s Radio Comedy Theater: The Charleston (Edmond Historical Society - Edmond) Start Time: 6:30pm Re-live Old Time Radio in this historical performance of "The Life of Riley." Actors will reenact the hilarious script in which Chester A. Riley surprises his wife by taking Charleston dance lessons. The show includes a live demonstration of the Charleston. Thurs, Nov 14th @ 6:30 PM. $10 adult, $5 child ($1 off member discount). Purchase your…
  • 🎓 2019 OHA Convention & Trade Show (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 The 2019 Oklahoma Hospital Association Convention and Trade Show comes to Cox Convention Center November 13-15!
  • 🎨 An Evening with Rainn Wilson (McCasland Field House - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Headliner: Rainn Wilson
  • The Chainsmokers in Concert (Chesapeake Energy Arena - Oklahoma City) Come see the Chainsmokers live onstage at the Chesapeake Energy Arena in Oklahoma City. This electronic dance music duo…
  • 🍴 DEBA Coffee (Edmond Chamber of Commerce - Edmond) Start Time: 9:00am
  • Giant Stride w/ Antique Gardens and Elderly Smackdown (Red Brick Bar - Norman) Start Time: 9:00pm giant stride w/ Antique Gardens (TX) and Elderly Smackdown! 9pm - No Cover! 21+ ID REQUIRED
  • 🏃 Koda CrossFit at Together Square (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:45pm Thursdays 5:45-6:45pm September 5–November 21, 2019 $5 per person, pay upon arrival All levels Bring water Together Square is the perfect spot to discover the benefits of the incredible Koda Crossfit Workout. Join us Thursday evenings at 5:45pm beginning September 5 through November 21 for an hour of training. By performing a wide variety of…
  • 🎓 Lego Club (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 3:30pm Create, Build, Learn, and have Fun! RSVP for this event. All Ages are Welcome. Please keep your Legos at home unless you wish to make a donation to the Guthrie Library. The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government ChooseGuthrie Guthrie Chamber of Commerce Talk Around Guthrie.
  • 🎡 Looking For Something? (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm For me, it all comes down to timing.
  • 😂 Michael Mack (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 16th
  • 🎓 National Women in Roofing Networking (Rococo’s - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 4:00pm Please join us for complimentary hors d'oeuvres, beverages and networking with Oklahoma roofing professionals. You have been hearing about National Women in Roofing. Now it’s time to find out what the buzz is about. Invite your roofing industry friends & be sure to RSVP to: [email protected] Our membership is open to…
  • Oklahoma Film + Music Conference (Vast - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Make plans to attend the inaugural Oklahoma Film + Music Conference: New Heights. Held on the 50th floor of Vast in Oklahoma…
  • Pearl Earl (Opolis - Norman) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • Rare Sighting: A Bad Faith Experience (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm 21+ | $5 at the door The Deli in Norman A Bad Faith Experience
  • Red Dirt Rangers w/Edgar Cruz (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm
  • Reinstallation Gallery Talks (Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) Thru Sat, Nov 16th Start Time: 2:00pm Join us for back-to-back gallery talks that focus on the museum’s reinstallation of the permanent collections. The Lester Wing talk will be led by Wylodean and Bill Saxon Director Mark White. The Stuart Wing talk will be led by Eugene B. Adkins Curator Hadley Jerman. 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 12 (Lester Wing) 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 19…
  • 🎭 Oklahoma City Rep's A Doll's House, Part 2 (Oklahoma City Repertory Theatre - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 7:30pm A DOLL'S HOUSE, PART 2 by Lucas Hnath Nov. 8 – 24, 2019 CitySpace Theatre NOMINATED FOR 8 TONY AWARDS A DOLL'S HOUSE, PART 2 flashes forward 15 years from Henrik Ibsen's 1879 portrait of marriage as a women's prison, and my, how things have — and haven't — changed. A door that was once slammed so hard the noise could be heard around the…
  • 🎓 Review Your Year & Plan 2020 (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 10:30am Each year people set goals for their personal lives as well as business. If we're lucky, we reach more of those goals than not. Join us as Lisa Qualls with Clarity, LLC shares tips on evaluating 2019 and helps you find your best ways to plan a successful and strategic 2020. Registration is required for this free event. Click the Tickets link…
  • The Spongebob Musical (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Nickelodeon's popular cartoon character is coming to life for a special production of "The Spongebob Musical."…
  • Teen DIY Dog Toys (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 5:00pm We will be making dog toy to take home to your favorite four legged creature. Make sure to bring plastic water bottles and old clothes/jeans to tear up. The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government ChooseGuthrie Guthrie Chamber of Commerce Talk around guthrie where nobody gets deleted
  • Tony Lucca With Moonlight Special (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Tony Lucca w/Moonlight Social (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Tony Lucca returns with special guests Moonlight Social for a one-of-a-kind show!
  • The Truth about Flipping the Money Switch (Francis Tuttle Technology Center North Campus - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am You have saved and saved and saved. Now you are retired and it’s time to enjoy your newfound freedom, right? So why does spending seem so hard to do? Join us as we discuss the psychology behind going from saving to spending after retirement. Look at the bigger financial picture, gain some insight into how much is actually enough, and who…

Friday, Nov 15th

  • 3rd Friday Block pARTy & Tree Lighting (Celebration Of Life Park - Shawnee) Come join the fun at Shawnee's Downtown Block Party in Celebration of Life park located in historic downtown Shawnee.…
  • 🎓 2019 OHA Convention & Trade Show (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 The 2019 Oklahoma Hospital Association Convention and Trade Show comes to Cox Convention Center November 13-15!
  • Adults Only Night (Sam Noble Museum - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Experience the Sam Noble Museum like never before during a night of trivia, games and hands-on natural history! Have a beer under the mammoth in our Pleistocene Plaza while playing trivia for prizes and bragging rights. Explore our exhibits after hours with a scavenger hunt, work with (or against) your friends in a make-and-take challenge,…
  • The Coathangers (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm The Coathangers This show is all ages. Tickets are $12 in advance at ticketstorm.com, charge by phone 18669661777, purchase hard copy tickets at any Uptown Grocery/Buy For Less location or Starship Records in Tulsa
  • Foxx Rose (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • 🎓 Free Zumba (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 5:00pm Dress to sweat! Free Latin inspired dance fitness class. Space is Limited. RSVP. The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government Guthrie, Oklahoma ChooseGuthrie Guthrie Chamber of Commerce Talk around guthrie where nobody gets deleted
  • Grady Co. OHCE Celebration of Crafts Show (Grady County Fairgrounds - Chickasha) Craft Show. Open to craft and direct sale vendors. Lots of handcrafted items and home baked goods just in time for the holidays.
  • Jack Cheatham Quintet (Othello's of Norman - Norman) Start Time: 8:30pm Othello's Sessions is excited for Jack Cheatham to be the first featured artist! A student at UCO, Jack is one of the most swingin' trumpet players in Oklahoma. You can often catch him at gigs in Oklahoma City and Tulsa. Othello's Sessions has no cover, just great food and jazz! See you November 15th!
  • Jeff Plankenhorn & Michael O'Connor (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Jim Gaffigan (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Jim Gaffigan is sure to deliver bouts of laughter at his back-to-back routines at Riverwind Casino in Norman. Spend the…
  • 🎨 Light From Light (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Gifted with sometimes-prophetic dreams and a lifelong interest in the paranormal, Sheila (Marin Ireland) is asked to investigate a potential haunting at a Tennessee farmhouse. It’s there she meets Richard (Jim Gaffigan), a recent widower who believes his wife may still be with him. The investigation that ensues — which eventually pulls in…
  • 🎡 Looking For Something? (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm For me, it all comes down to timing.
  • 😂 Michael Mack (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
  • My So Called Band (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm Your favorite 90's rockers are back for their monthly installment at The Deli. You know what to do. Tell your friends! Share it far and wide! Let's party! 10pm 21+ $10 Arrive early to guarantee entry.
  • Oklahoma Film + Music Conference (Vast - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Make plans to attend the inaugural Oklahoma Film + Music Conference: New Heights. Held on the 50th floor of Vast in Oklahoma…
  • Oklahoma Heritage Concert (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:30am Celebrate Oklahoma’s 112th birthday and watch history come to life at the National Cowboy Museum with stage performances by Rodeo Opry, using an interactive program to teach Oklahoma history, music and culture. This educational music experience takes participants through trials and triumphs, including Native American heritage, the Dust Bowl,…
  • Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Enjoy holiday ice skating in Mitch Park at the Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink. Glide around the 117ft. x 56ft. under clear,…
  • 🎭 Pearl Earl/Psychotic Reaction (Opolis Prod - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm https://pearlearl.bandcamp.com/ https://psychoticreaction.bandcamp.com/ 8pm doors 9pm show
  • 🎓 Oklahoma City Personal Injury Attorneys Meetup (Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am Come and have drinks and share personal injury case stories with other lawyers in Oklahoma City. We are professional network of legal professionals comprised of attorneys, law students, legal professional staff, recruiters and legal industry and technology. This meetup is designed to provide live networking opportunities and support for legal…
  • Reinstallation Gallery Talks (Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) 1 day left Start Time: 2:00pm Join us for back-to-back gallery talks that focus on the museum’s reinstallation of the permanent collections. The Lester Wing talk will be led by Wylodean and Bill Saxon Director Mark White. The Stuart Wing talk will be led by Eugene B. Adkins Curator Hadley Jerman. 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 12 (Lester Wing) 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 19…
  • 🎭 Oklahoma City Rep's A Doll's House, Part 2 (Oklahoma City Repertory Theatre - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 7:30pm A DOLL'S HOUSE, PART 2 by Lucas Hnath Nov. 8 – 24, 2019 CitySpace Theatre NOMINATED FOR 8 TONY AWARDS A DOLL'S HOUSE, PART 2 flashes forward 15 years from Henrik Ibsen's 1879 portrait of marriage as a women's prison, and my, how things have — and haven't — changed. A door that was once slammed so hard the noise could be heard around the…
  • The Spongebob Musical (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Nov 17th Nickelodeon's popular cartoon character is coming to life for a special production of "The Spongebob Musical."…

Saturday, Nov 16th

  • 2019 Golden Retriever Dog Show (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Start Time: 8:00am
  • 🎓 Atlas International Expo (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am Oklahoma City November 16th 2019 Home of the Mr Ms Atlas International Pro Am Fitness Expo !! WWW.GBOONLINE.COM
  • Oklahoma City Blue vs Westchester Knicks (Cox Convention Center - Oklahoma City) Come see some thrilling professional basketball during the Oklahoma City Blue 2019-20 season. Experience the fast-paced…
  • 🎓 Central State Archaeology Society (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Start Time: 8:00am
  • 🏆 Central OK: University of Central Oklahoma Women's Basketball vs Southern Nazarene (Edmond) Start Time: 1:30pm University of Central Oklahoma Women's Basketball vs Southern Nazarene https://www.bronchosports.com/calendar.aspx?id=6527
  • 🎨 Drop-In Art: Land & Home (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm For the month of November we will explore the themes of Land and Home. Visit our special exhibition "Renewing the American Spirit: The Art of the Great Depression" and our permanent collection exhibition "From the Golden Age to the Moving Image: The Changing Face of the Permanent Collection" to find inspiration from the many works of art on…
  • Homesafe (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Homesafe with Kayak Jones, Young Culture and Keep Flying This show is all ages. Tickets are $13 in advance at ticketstorm.com, charge by phone 18669661777, purchase hard copy tickets at any Uptown Grocery/Buy For Less location or Starship Records in Tulsa.
  • Edmond International Festival (Festival Marketplace - Edmond) Start Time: 11:00am University of Central Oklahoma's International Student Councilalong with various cultural groups from around the community and the world come together and celebrate International Education Week by hosting the International Festival in Downtown Edmond. During the festival, 16 different countries and regions will showcase their cultures through…
  • Kottonmouth Kings in Concert (Oklahoma City Limits - Oklahoma City) Hip-hop act Kottonmouth Kings will bring their signature sound to the Oklahoma City Limits Bar. Gather near the stage, and…
  • Kottonmouth Kings in OKC! (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm The Kottonmouth Kings live in OKC! More details to be announced soon!
  • 🎨 Light From Light (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Gifted with sometimes-prophetic dreams and a lifelong interest in the paranormal, Sheila (Marin Ireland) is asked to investigate a potential haunting at a Tennessee farmhouse. It’s there she meets Richard (Jim Gaffigan), a recent widower who believes his wife may still be with him. The investigation that ensues — which eventually pulls in…
  • 🎓 Managing Stress and Raja Yoga Meditation- a day course (Brahma Kumaris Meditation Center - Edmond) Start Time: 12:30pm Taking time out has always been a vital part of improving the quality of life, refreshing our understanding of events and re-charging the spirit. A day Retreat is an opportunity to step off the conveyor belt of life and spend time in a peaceful and spiritual atmosphere, reflecting upon and exploring the important factors governing our…
  • 😂 Michael Mack (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
  • Misunderstood! Poetry Reading (Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) Start Time: 1:00pm This poetry reading is intended to give audiences a chance to interact with the poetry and art of Misunderstood! in a new and more intimate way. Several poems will be read aloud by different individuals, all from Oklahoma, who have a personal connection to the material in this exhibit. With poems ranging from 1894 to 2019, the reading will cover…
  • OKC Gun Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 For a high quality gun show with great prices and selection, visit the OKC Gun Show in Oklahoma City. Held at Oklahoma State…
  • Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Enjoy holiday ice skating in Mitch Park at the Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink. Glide around the 117ft. x 56ft. under clear,…
  • Luther Pecan Festival (Luther) Gather up your crew and embrace fall with a visit to the Luther Pecan Festival. At this family-friendly festival take in a…
  • Reinstallation Gallery Talks (Fred Jones Jr. Museum of Art - Norman) Last Day Start Time: 2:00pm Join us for back-to-back gallery talks that focus on the museum’s reinstallation of the permanent collections. The Lester Wing talk will be led by Wylodean and Bill Saxon Director Mark White. The Stuart Wing talk will be led by Eugene B. Adkins Curator Hadley Jerman. 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 12 (Lester Wing) 2:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 19…
  • Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 The Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show at Oklahoma State Fair Park in OKC features vendors with reptile pets,…
  • Santa’s Wonderland returns to Bass Pro Shops featuring FREE photos with Santa (The Shop - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Santa’s Wonderland is the ultimate free family Christmas event. The magic returns to Bass Pro Shops and Oklahoma City-area families are invited to enjoy this enchanting Christmas village offering FREE 4x6 studio-quality photos with Santa and free family holiday activities including fun crafts and games.
    Features include rustic Christmas…
  • Oklahoma City Spirit Fair (Wyndham Garden Oklahoma City Airport - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Attend the Oklahoma City Spirit Fair to pick up new spiritual gifts and must-have items. Knock out holiday shopping while…
  • The Spongebob Musical (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Nickelodeon's popular cartoon character is coming to life for a special production of "The Spongebob Musical."…
  • Sprouting Chefs: Holiday Gifts in a Jar (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Learn how to create simple, thoughtful and tasty Mason jar DIY treats to give as gifts during the holidays. We’ll make a couple of gifts in a jar and sample a few already cooked. All supplies will be provided. Member $17; Nonmember $20 Donna Jung, FCS Extension Educator with Canadian County For families, preferably kids ages 5 and up
  • 🎭 YourStory-Timeless Tales & Brand New Yarns (The Depot - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am Storytellers, story writers, story lovers: Join us Saturday, Nov. 16 at The Depot from 10am to 12pm for YourStory—Timeless Tales & Brand New Yarns! In this storytelling workshop, Ms. DWe Williams will explore familiar and not-so-familiar fairytales, folktales, origin stories, myths, and legends. Ms. Dwe is an actress, director, playwright, and…

Sunday, Nov 17th

  • Drive-By Truckers in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Catch a high-energy show by Drive-By Truckers when the band stops at Tower Theatre in Oklahoma City. The Drive-By…
  • Lana Del Rey in Concert (The Criterion - Oklahoma City) Don't miss singer Lana Del Rey on her latest national tour at The Criterion in Oklahoma City. Known for her retro…
  • OKC Gun Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 For a high quality gun show with great prices and selection, visit the OKC Gun Show in Oklahoma City. Held at Oklahoma State…
  • Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Enjoy holiday ice skating in Mitch Park at the Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink. Glide around the 117ft. x 56ft. under clear,…
  • Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 The Repticon Reptile & Exotic Animal Show at Oklahoma State Fair Park in OKC features vendors with reptile pets,…
  • Rodrigo y Gabriela in Concert (The Jones Assembly - Oklahoma City) Mexican acoustic rock guitar duo Rodrigo y Gabriela are embarking on the next chapter of their story with the…
  • Oklahoma City Spirit Fair (Wyndham Garden Oklahoma City Airport - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Attend the Oklahoma City Spirit Fair to pick up new spiritual gifts and must-have items. Knock out holiday shopping while…
  • The Spongebob Musical (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Last Day Nickelodeon's popular cartoon character is coming to life for a special production of "The Spongebob Musical."…

Monday, Nov 18th

  • Barrel Racing Futurity World Championship (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Nov 23rd The annual Barrel Racing Futurity World Championships come to the Lazy E Arena in Guthrie. Put on by the Barrel…
  • OU Sooners vs William & Mary Griffins (The Lloyd Noble Center - Norman) Experience the action and excitement in Norman as the Oklahoma Sooners take on the William & Mary Griffins. Since the…
  • Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Enjoy holiday ice skating in Mitch Park at the Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink. Glide around the 117ft. x 56ft. under clear,…

Tuesday, Nov 19th

  • Barrel Racing Futurity World Championship (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Nov 23rd The annual Barrel Racing Futurity World Championships come to the Lazy E Arena in Guthrie. Put on by the Barrel…
  • Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Enjoy holiday ice skating in Mitch Park at the Edmond Outdoor Ice Rink. Glide around the 117ft. x 56ft. under clear,…

See Also

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